Ask Your Question today
I am dating this one guy, and have for a while, and I have been having an urge to have sex with one of my guy friends and not my boyfriend. I hadn't felt an urge to until he moved and I don't get to see him anymore, and can only talk on the phone and through facebook now.
I'm sorry, but you're a hoe if you go for it. We're not in Orwell's "1984", so no one can accuse you of a "thought crime". But it's not normal and if you actually do it -it's cheating.
I think that's the first time in history when a boyfriend (not ex boyfriend) is getting friend-zoned.
Well since everyone's beating the shit out of you just for having a thought about another person (as if nobody has ever done that before), I'll play devil's advocate. Once again.
It seems pretty simple to me - your sexual and romantic selves desire different things. It's normal, and it's not something you can help anyway. The way I see it, there are a few morally acceptable ways you can go about this:
1. If you feel comfortable, talk to your boyfriend about it - not about the specific person, just explain to him that you don't feel the sexual spark anymore. Perhaps you two can work on improving your sex life, and maybe then these thoughts of other people will subside.
2. If that doesn't work, consider taking a break from the relationship. You're fine as long as you don't act on these desires, but if they don't go away, you're left in a troubling position. Perhaps if you take time to see other people, your urges will be fulfilled and you may even begin to appreciate him more.
3. If you don't want to take a break (or you tried and it didn't help), consider leaving. Sexual chemistry is important for a healthy relationship, and if it just isn't there and can't seem to be improved, it may be time to leave. There's also no reason to string him along if you're just not sexually enticed by him anymore.
ya it's normal-whenever I'm dating a girl I check out other girls-we all do it.