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I have sexual feelings for my stepmom, which I know is fucked. But I can’t stop it I’ve had them for years and I want to rid myself of them because we have a great relationship and I don’t wanna ruin it over sexual urges. I would like some advice if I have some.
I used to fuck my ex loud so her mum could hear from the room next door, total turn on. Walk out the room naked and make sure she sees you, I used to do that too. Other than that just close your eyes during sex and think of her. Iv always thought of other people during sex
Changing sexual fantasies can be done; but is not easy.
First key thing is do you understand how it would mess up both of your lives to become sexually involved (which is true for almost all cases).
What are some other pleasant or desirable sexual fantasies that are and will remain legal. Focus on those, and every-time that you think of your stepmom just say to yourself (mentally or better yet speak it): "Evil be gone - that would mess up everything." and then focus on another very pleasant sexual fantasy.
A recommendation is to avoid fantasies that are aimed at younger people. These get a lot of people in trouble later in life. When I was a young teenager I had fantasies about young teenage girls - and I continued those into adulthood.
Then one day I noticed the number of cases in the news about older (30-50) men who were charged with statutory rape of such younger ladies - and it clicked in my mind as to why.
I had played out in my mind thousands of times meeting a willing well under-aged girl and enjoying sex with her. So if I ran into one in real life my mind would just click into "Auto- pilot" and we would have sex. I did a little reading about statutory rape and found that was a common story (but, unfortunately not the only common stories).
So, I focused on more age appropriate (and not illegal) sexual fantasies. It took me a couple years to totally eliminate my childhood fantasy that I had carried into adulthood. Also, I no longer feel any guilt on any of my sexual fantasies.
You can change your sexual fantasies and interest. Not easy, but well worth doing.
I wish you well with this,
Thank you I never thought about focusing on a different fantasy all together.
Yes, you should NEVER ever sexually fantasize about underaged persons, nor should you fantasize about your stepmother, because she is your father's wife, and you don't want to bring unrest to your family home!
I think a dopamine detox, and actively praying, and meditating about how important a peaceful family home is to you, your father, his wife, and any siblings, step-siblings, or half-siblings you might have to a good idea. When you stop the negative fantasies, and masturbation you need to focus the energy you used to focus on that on something positive, and healthy.
RoseIsabella: The problem with your position is that it is in fact quite appropriate and reasonable for underage people to have sexual fantasies about other underage people.
The problem is that most people carry their fantasies into adulthood; which can lead to problems later in life (and not just sexually).
I wish human sexuality courses taught about what are appropriate fantasies and where problems can occur.
Perhaps what should be taught is that you should only sexually fantasize about people in your relative age group; and that age group changes and expands as you get older. That you need to move on and find replacement fantasies as you age.
I'm not sure why you seem to be against masturbation. Most masturbation is in fact healthy - and can even be required to maintain optimal health over the decades unless they have constant active sex partners for their entire life after puberty (especially for men as it relates to long term prostate health). They are not sure yet if the same is true for women.
Peace
Yes, but he is having an "older woman" fantasy. Perhaps fantasizing about other kid's step-moms would be safer. Also, he might enjoy "Over 40" porn which is the entire MILF genre.
Depending on age she's probably having the same thoughts about you when the old man is too tired to get it up, or he's a one and done.
So you're 19 she's what 40 ish. Not knowing your living arrangement or schedule. But you could sleep nude and let her wake you up in the morning. She may not act on it, but depends on her actions you might get a hint. Set a cam up in your room so you can review her action/facial reaction. I wouldn't encourage messing with step mom, too many negative repercussions, but if she's going to be interested in finding extracurricular activities then this may show if she's interested..
I haven't ever had one, but I say step'mother' is not actually a mother, just your father's girlfriend which does not really mean much. You jusy being a bitch succumbing to illusions you've been told and raised to believe
Hopefully those sexual feelings will wane the day she asks you to bring her towel that she forgot in the bedroom to her in the shower.
While you are jerking off, fantasize that your step-mother is watching you have sex with your imaginary partner.
It shifts his attraction away from the step-mom to someone else. Getting sexual approval from a hot step-mom is much healthier.
Double edged.
My stepmum went through the drawers in my room once and found pairs of her sexy knickers and high heels. She took them back, but never mentioned exactly what she'd found. Not directly.
But when I started to have girl friends, she'd come and sit with us and before long she'd start talking about how nice their shoes were. She'd ask how high the heels were (even if they were near enough flat!) and stuff like that, and then she'd talk about her own shoes, and wait for my girlfriends to comment on them. She was such a cocky bitch, because she knew I had a thing for her feet and I'm sure she guessed what I'd done with the well-worn stilettos in that drawer. So she'd be openly daring me to look and compare, knowing I'd be burning up inside and I'd be pretending the conversation wasn't happening.
My point is, it can be pretty risky involving an idolised stepmum in sexual comparisons. She could easily come out on top, which just compounds the problem.
My stepmum drove me crazy and I developed all kinds of obsessions with her. I wish I had some good advice. I've often cum while thinking about her, and if that's the way it takes you then it's very hard to resist those urges. But definitely don't act on it.
It can't be unusual. An adult woman, roaming round the house in all states of undress. Make-up, sexy knickers, sexy shoes everywhere. Her wetness on the towels and bathmats. If she deliberately touches you, it can be a problem. If she deliberately doesn't touch you, it can be a problem. And that's just a part of the list of how it was for me, which I'm sure is different to the way it will have been for other people, but just as edgy. It took a long time before I ever got to see her as a normal human being, and to love her just for that.
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If anything you should probably do a dopamine detox, and take a break from pornography, and masturbation for at least 90 days.
You would probably experience some initial withdrawal, but it would detox you from being dependent on masturbation to get that hit of dopamine from your brain.
Yes, it might be worse for a while, but the point is that you would get to wean yourself off your dependency on getting high off the dopamine your brain releases.
Anyway, this is why I am a firm believer in people NOT entertaining weird, stupid, and inappropriate fantasies, because those are things that either cannot ever come true, or should not ever come true. When a person masturbates, and has an unhealthy, or inappropriate fantasy they are unwittingly training themselves to become addicted to that fantasy, because everytime that person climaxes he, or she is getting a hit of dopamine from their brain that reinforces that fantasy. This sort of cycle can cause a person to become hopeless, and depressed, because they are attached to the fantasy in their head. It's really all very dysfunctional, and unhealthy.
Get back under the bridge before I get the angry villagers will the pitchforks, and torches!
So she probably bathed you. And then, some time, she probably stopped. Mine did all kinds of things when I was young, which stayed with me. And then, at 19, there she still is, for you... The teens were probably my worst time ever with my SM, where I was trying to deal with all kinds of other shit and yet there she was, day after day...
Don't beat yourself up. Mine was such a love/hate relationship in my teens it was untrue, and I especially hated that that she awoke sexual feelings in me which I was very sure she knew about and occasionally had fun with.
It took me so long before we were just real friends. But I'm so glad I never did anything other than cum in my own privacy.
Yes, intentionally. She got to know a lot of very intimate things about me and now and again she'd play on them in a way that only she and I would know about. She'd be most likely to do it if I had new girl friends and I'm not sure if she ever meant to assert her dominance as completely as she did but she had me by the balls for a long time.
I say if she's hot, it's perfectly normal. Men are wired to not concern themselves with relationship, age, status, etc. If a woman appears sexually attractive, we want her. Now that doesn't mean you should act out on the attraction. We're SUPPOSED to be different from the animals that do so without thought or reservation. But again - if she's hot, enjoy the fantasy!