Is it normal to want to have no gender?

43% Normal

Up until I was 10, I always liked being female, and was happy to call myself a girl. But now, I just hate everything about it. I hate having breasts, I hate periods, I hate the stereotypes, and I hate when I'm supposed to hang out with females when I have more in common with guys. I hate being expected to have long hair, I hate makeup, I don't like dresses (even though I used to), and I hate that my mom thinks we have something in common because we're both female. I hate the shape of female bodies too. And the whole multiple orgasms thing doesn't matter because I'm not interested in sex. I don't want to be male, but I REALLY don't want to be female. I would rather just be sexless than either. And since I don't have the desire to have sex, I'd be perfectly happy without sex organs. I have been seriously considering surgery. What surgeries could I get? I haven't looked into it much yet. Is it normal to want to be genderless?

Voting Results

43% Normal

Based on 30 votes (13 yes)

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Comments ( 23 )

[Old Memory]

7 years ago

I'm in a similar situation. With that said, I must warn you from firsthand experience that such sentiments are SURPRISINGLY unpopular. Very often it will be assumed that you're some type of perverted freak, and some people are - apparently - downright offended if you refuse to disclose your gender online at their request.

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Geturshittogetherfriend

7 years ago

Hello there, I haven't read all the comments and I probably don't want to but here are two bits of information if you haven't gotten them yet:

1. Being Agender (or genderless) is a thing. Try googling it and find similar terms like demi-girl or just nonbinary. I hope you can find a term to help you explore your own gender (or lack there of). And yes, some Agender people have surgery so they can feel more comfortable in their own body.

2. Being Asexual is a thing. Your main point isn't about this so I'll just say that the term and community are there

My main advice to you would be to explore all the web has to offer about being nonbinary/Agender and hopefully find some people who feel the same way and learn from them.

I hope this is helpful!

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Paigiepoo

7 years ago

Just a fancy, your a woman. Embrace that first, then consider your use of the word " hate"
I've been around . What do you really hate?

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- NotNormalBro
  
  7 years ago
  
  I hate a lot of things about it. I would just be happier with a sexless/genderless body. One thing I didn't include is that I hate being catagorized with other women. Like when people say I think something or act a certain way because I'm female. I hate when statistics are applied to me that way because I don't want to be a female. And I hate that I'm not allowed to compeat with guys in sports. In so many sports we're split up. I don't care what the physical differences are. I know that I could do it if I worked harder than them. But if I were sexless, I would probably have to stay in the female category, but I would be a lot happier with my body. Basically, what sucks about it is having boobs and a vagina. I don't want either. Every part of my body gets in the way because I don't want children and I don't want to have sex.
  
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  - Cocktimus_Prime
    
    7 years ago
    
    You aren't allowed to compete with guys in sports for your own protection. Biologically men are bigger, more muscular, faster, and far better athletes than women are. Just because some women are good athletes OR that some TOP TIER female athletes actually wouldn't get CRUSHED by male competition, doesn't mean women should be encouraged to compete with men.
    
    This is for your own protection and you're too stupid to see it.
    
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    - NotNormalBro
      
      7 years ago
      
      My own protection? That's stupid. Sports that don't involve fighting should have everyone in the same category. For example, tennis and skiing.
      
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Terence_the_viking

7 years ago

So you want to be like a potato? they have no gender.

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- NotNormalBro
  
  7 years ago
  
  Ok, there is a huge difference between what the post describes and being a potato.
  
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mysistersshadow

7 years ago

I can't see you pursuing this is a way that will make you happy at least in this lifetime becos there to many things that have to change. However...

Breast reduction/removal. They do it for breast cancer they can do it for you.

No period or children. Hysterectomy or a newer surgery called endometrial ablation.

Long hair. Cut it guys manage to keep short hair I'm sure you could to.

Dresses. Don't wear them guys manage to avoid wearing them I'm sure you could to.

Don't want to have sex. Don't. Guys usually can't manage to hav... never mind. :)

Having a vagina. Well since it serves other purposes than sex you might want to not have that sewn up. Just sayin. Tho it is pointless at least compared to dicks. Haha.

Ok thats out of the way. Here are some of the problems. Which restroom to use? True there are more family restroom than ever before but they aren't every where. Whats it going to say on your drivers license... declined to state? If you end up in jail... which one? I know your probly not planning on going to jail but... um... most ppl there weren't either. For better or worse our society really really wants us to be male or female and your going to find out all the ways in which its forced on us if you try to be neither.

The surgeries. What I listed isn't typically considered elective surgeries in most places. If your dead set on it you should research medical tourism. Its dangerous but you'll be unlikely to get a licensed surgeon to perform them unless you have a serious medical reason to do so. And even if you can insurance won't pay for it and your probly looking at several $100,000s.

When ppl are convinced they want a sex change which is more appropriately called SRS they have to go through psychological evals as well as typically live as the gender they want to be for a minimum of 2 years before a surgeon will consider taking the knife to them.

Wanting to be genderless is going to probly be a even bigger issue to tackle than SRS.

I don't understand why your unhappy being female I love it I would seriously consider ending my own life if it were that or have to be a guy. So I can't really offer much in the way of supportive comments even transgender makes my head spin in uncomfortable ways but I wish you good luck in your struggle and hope all the best for you.

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Cocomilktitties

7 years ago

So, here's my two cents.

I totally support gender changes being legal.. I think it's your body, your decision.

I also think that it's a really bad way to run away from a deeper underlying problem.
I think that what you are experiencing is more linked to the time in your life, the social environment that you are in, etc. It is REALLY hard to be a young female from what I understand. There are a lot of expectations that girls (and some guys) put on each other.

The thing is, that from what you wrote, it doesn't sound to me like you are masculine or that you think masculinely. I think it sounds to me (and I could be wrong) that you are just fed up with all the pressures that society puts on young women and the things that make you happy isn't hair and make up and chasing boys. And that is actually... pretty normal. Even if it doesn't feel like it.

You were born a female. There is nothing wrong with that! You can be a girl who isn't into the stuff that every other girl is into. It doesn't make you any less. You're perfectly great just the way that you are... naturally. (:

A psychologist once was telling me about how he sees patients sometimes who want a sex change. And he says that lots of times, they come in and they are all depressed and they want a sex change, thinking it will make their life a lot better; but then they go through the change and then in his words they are just "depressed without the penis".

Hang in there! I think it's more normal than you think to feel that way.

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- NotNormalBro
  
  7 years ago
  
  Ah, I see where you're coming from. You see, my post was originally supposed to be titled "Is it normal to hate being female." But, as I wrote, I decided to change the title, seeing as I really wanted to ask a different question. Some of the things I hate about being female are left in there and I know being genderless would not fix those problems. I am aware that I will most likely still be treated as a woman if I get surgery. I know there will still be stereotypes and I will be treated the same way. I am not trying to run away from any of that by doing this. I would just be a lot happier with my body if I were genderless.
  
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Ellenna

7 years ago

Your breasts and your vagina aren't going to force you to have sex or children: lots of women don't.

You're mixing up sex roles with your body and you can continue the long feminist fight against restricting sex roles without mutilating your body. You'd still be a woman, by the way, because that's what you were born as and have lived as and have the hormonal balance for.

It'd be a good idea for you to stop hating your body and put your energy into changing society so that you and other women like you (and there are lots) don't find their lives restricted by gender roles: we used to call that Women's Liberation, by the way.

There are many women who don't wear makeup or dresses, I'm one of them and only wear a skirt occasionally. I enjoy what I enjoy: cooking and crafts and gardening and mother and grandmotherhood and building and repairing and chainsawing ....

And what's this nonsense about having "balls"? You don't and that's a ridiculous way of describing whatever you're talking about: if you mean courage, honesty or any other quality or qualities, they have nothing to do with having testicles.

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- NotNormalBro
  
  7 years ago
  
  I do not think my breasts and vagina make it so I have to have sex or children, I think they are useless because I don't want sex or children, so they just get in the way. I'm not mixing up sex roles and my body. I know they are different and I didn't do a good job separating them in my post. However, ignoring all social and emotional aspects of this, I still would rather be sexless. Breasts get in the way and make it uncomfortable to run and lay on my stomach. For me they serve no purpose and are just unconvenient. Having a uterus and ovaries sucks because I just have to have a period and I don't plan on having children. Having a vagina is pointless because I don't want to have sex.
  
  Edit: As for the thing about having balls, it is a figure of speech. I know courage has nothing to do with gender.
  
  Edit 2: My life isn't restricted by gender roles. It's restricted by this inefficient body if anything. I don't want to put energy into changing society this way because, if I'm honest, it just gives me an excuse to insult anyone that uses these gender roles. If some women can't stand up for themselves, that's their problem. I hate gender roles, but it's not worth my time to try to get rid of them. I only want a sexless body because I would be happier that way. Not because it would get rid of gender roles. I know that those would still be directed at me even if I was genderless. People would still consider me female. I was stating what I hated about being female, not that being sexless would change that. I want a sexless body because it would look so much better and feel so much better to me.
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    7 years ago
    
    Thanks for the clarification, I now see where you're coming from. I'm wondering how old you are, because if you're really young it would be a shame to have drastic surgery you'd regret later.
    
    I agree breasts can be a nuisance: I have big ones and have always envied women with small ones, but then most of them envy mine .... I wouldn't suggest removal of ovaries because you will then go into early menopause and you won't enjoy that much, apart from the premature ageing, increased risk of heart attack and osteoporosis. I'd have breast reduction myself if I could afford it as long as it didn't affect nipple sensitivity: if I wear a bra the weight pulls on my shoulders and gives me neck problems and if I don't I get rashes under my tits and people stare at the bouncing.
    
    You could take the contraceptive pill non-stop to avoid periods if you're not worried about the longterm effects of artificial hormones.
    
    If you can afford it and can find surgeons who'll do it, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't have breast reduction and a partial hysterectomy, uterus only but not ovaries. Might be hard to find one if you're still fairly young though.
    
    I know the balls expression is a figure of speech, but it just perpetuates the crap that links s masculinity with courage and so on, when it's clear women have those qualities too, as you prove with your own bravery in going outside what's expected of you as a woman.
    
    Go for whatever you need to be happy!
    
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- mypenisinyourmouth
  
  7 years ago
  
  You're probably a terrible mother
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    7 years ago
    
    My daughter doesn't think so and my grandkids love me too. What sort of a parent are you?
    
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    - NotNormalBro
      
      7 years ago
      
      They're probably not a parent.
      
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8=====D~~~~~

7 years ago

Why do so many women constantly say they feel they have more in common with guys? How could that possibly be?

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- NotNormalBro
  
  7 years ago
  
  Because all of the women I know are wimps. The guys and I are the only ones with balls. Plus I don't wear makeup or dresses. Another thing I have in common with guys is that we both don't want to be female. And here's another thing I hate about being female: being categorized just like you did there.
  
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  - 8=====D~~~~~
    
    7 years ago
    
    That's because you don't accept being female and don't embrace it. You've been brainwashed to think you need to act macho to be accepted. Women are supposed to wimpy compared to guys. Imagine if America sent only women to fight the Nazis....
    
    No, you don't have balls. Guys have balls. They're born with them. You aren't. What I don't like is someone who categorizes me as someone who categorizes, but takes the high ground by thinking they said it first.
    
    Also, you're a woman. Sorry to break that to you.
    
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    - NotNormalBro
      
      7 years ago
      
      Ok, I don't give a shit if I'm "accepted." "Balls" is a figure of speech. It means courage/bravery. And I don't have to accept being a woman if I don't want to. I can be whatever the fuck I want to be. Also, I did not categorize you as someone who categorized people. I said "being categorized like you did there." That means you DID something, not you ARE something.
      
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      - 8=====D~~~~~
        
        7 years ago
        
        You're a woman, sorry to break that to you. No matter how hard you try your biology dictates that you will have HUGE amounts of estrogen pumping through your body and very TINY amounts testosterone.
        
        You sound mentally ill. That's what someone is when they reject what biology dictated their gender to be.
        
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        NotNormalBro
        
        7 years ago
        
        Ok then, what mental illness do I have?
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to want to have no gender?