Is it normal to want to have been born a freak?

For the past few years I have been obsessing over wanting to be different. I have a great life with a great family so my desires are not related to direct problems in my life at all, but more of a personal desire. The types of things I'm talking about are of freak show status; I find myself wishing I was born a freak basically. Things like polydactyly and hermaphroditism (look them up if you are unfamiliar) are my main focus. I have done my own research on these subjects extensively constantly wishing I could have been born with something like these. I don't know why, I'm a totally normal, heathy, relatively good-looking individual and I should be thankful, but I'm not. I don't want to be normal, I want to be a freak and I'm digging myself deeper and deeper into a strange cavity of depression because I know that I'll never be able to be like that. I know I'm messed up, but I don't know what could have caused me to think like this...

Is there anyone out there that can relate to me?