Is it normal to want to go to military but cant because girlfriend

71% Normal
15 Comments

okay i been with my highschool sweet heart for 2 years. iam a sophmore in a junior college working my way to pay for school making minimum wage. I love my girlfriend, so so much. She is the love of my life. But iam really struggling with my minimum wage job and living check to check. I decided that i want to join military (air force) for four years and take my girlfriend to be based with me but she said she doesnt want anything to do with me if i leave to military. should i stay or go? if i stay iam with my love but suffering dramatically financially, and if i go iam decent on money and a future but without my love

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 120 votes (85 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • hotchickie81
    14 years ago

    I think you (the author) should do what is best for YOU. Think of the long term!! If you two don't last, then you're stuck in a dead-end job, making jack shit, and hating your life. At least the military provides good oportunities and good money. do what is best for YOU, not others.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      I agree, I just wanted you to see the other side of the coin and not just listen to one side. I personally wouldn't go but I would rather see you happy with your decision than worry about what anyone here thinks.

      Either way, I hope you have a happy life but think what you want to do through because there is no going back once you join.

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    I think you should go. She said she doesn't want anything to do with you if you better yourself and your future together? That doesn't sound like a loving and supportive girlfriend to me. Besides, what if you two don't work out in the long run? Then you will have just wasted time and will still be stuck with a shitty job and no girlfriend. Or maybe she said that because she really doesn't want things to change between you two but if you did go, she might warm up to the idea and be more willing to travel with you. Either way, go, make a better life for yourself. If you are meant to be, she'll either go with you or be there when you get back.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      Wow, I am replying to this smart girl as I finally disagree with her. Her advice is solid but to my own ideals and the quotes I live by are:

      "Sacrifice today for a better tomorrow." and "Anything worth having in life is hard to get and earn."

      You are in a college trying to educate yourself for a better future. As I am currently in college as well, I understand the financial difficulties and how much it sucks to eat Macaroni and Cheeze for three days in a row.

      You see the military as a way out but it isn't. We are fighting "two" wars that were bullshit to begin with in my opinion. We were lied to why we are there, people don't want to be there but people still die there. I think dropping out of college will end up setting your life back and as you are most of the way through it now, it would be like taking a step backward.

      Your girlfriend: You have been with her for two years and she truly does love you. It shows for her standing up and try to talk you out of something. Please understand that if you leave, I doubt she will stay and wait for you and no matter what you do in the military, you will leave to go overseas. Even if you are "stationed" in the United States, you will be rotated out after a time to a "war zone" (They don't tell you this when you join. My sister was rotated and she asked to never go overseas when she joined.)

      Back to your girlfriend, she probably wants a future with you and sees you leaving a huge setback and is probably worried about you dying overseas. It would be horrible if you got her pregnant and you died overseas and I bet that is an idea that she has thought about. To me, it sounds like she is trying to "protect" you and your relationship and if she means a damn to you, you should listen to her as well.

      Finances are hard right now, I gave up college for a term to get my tax licence (So I can work while going to school for both experience and money in a field that I want to work in later. The licence is required in Oregon.) However, I would not want to join the army for any CURRENT reason (WWII, I would sign up, this crap, no.) and neither should you.

      Your girlfriend is trying to save you, nothing more and she isn't being selfish.

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    • IveGotBallsOfSteal
      14 years ago

      WORD! Anyone that doesn't want to have anything to do with you because you want to better yourself isn't right for you. Think about it. You guys are high school sweethearts, she wants everything to stay the same. Whether you go or not, things are going to change no matter what, your you're both going to resent each other for not allowing the other to grow up. been there, done that. As painful as it is, you gotta do what you gotta do. Life rolls on, and you'll both be better off in the end for it, as opposed to LITERALLY holding each other back.

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      • IveGotBallsOfSteal
        14 years ago

        OH, AND she can't base with you unless you guys are married.

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  • Mikael
    13 years ago

    u should go if she reali loves u she should be able to wait for u but if she cant then i guess not a movie for u " DEAR JOHN" well she should be able to listen to u becuz of the long run between u two and whats ganna happen so if she loves u she should be able to wait for u yep adn army isisnt such a bad thing to do

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  • Kat444
    14 years ago

    You should go. Being in the Air Force would be a good life experience for you and probably improve your future. If she can't be supportive of your goals, than she doesn't deserve you.

    Have you tried talking to her about how important this is, and how you only want what's best for the both of you? It sounds like you really love her, so while I think you should go for it, I also think you should try your hardest to convince her that you two should still be together as well.

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    • [Old Memory]
      14 years ago

      I would normally agree but he is in college now and closer to being done than just starting. It wouldn't be better for him and actually hurt him educational wise. Plus, if I read it right, he only wants to join because of finances and not a "goal" for himself.

      He is far better than the lower caliber people who join the service and if I had a vote, my vote is no. I'm sorry, I just disagree with the first two opinions given to him.

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      • [Old Memory]
        14 years ago

        SHIT, I CAN HELP YOU.

        I have studied my ass off with tax law and I can finally help someone. Please consider this.

        You are probably under 24 and if you are, think of this. You are still your parents dependent if you go to school full time. You support yourself "via working" but you are not elligible for many grants and student loans due to your parents.

        So to fix this, GET MARRIED. If you have been with your girlfriend that long and you two are fine, you should probably be getting married anyways. And...

        BEING MARRIED NO LONGER LETS YOU BE CLAIMED BY YOUR PARENTS AND YOU ARE YOUR OWN DEPENDANT THEN. WHICH MEANS YOU ARE ELLIGIBLE FOR FAR MORE FIANCIAL AID AND GRANTS FOR SCHOOL.

        Better hurry though, for your tax year end TODAY!!! I hate to say it, but get married before midnight if all possible at the courthouse. As I doubt you will do this, I still think it will work afterwards but I am not 100%% sure. Only your financial aid office will know for sure.

        HOWEVER, this only matters if you are under 24 and going to school full time. If you are a part time student, you can claim yourself as things are and it won't help much. You can write me at [email protected] if you need more info and ask questions and I am more than willing to do the research for you.

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        • [Old Memory]
          14 years ago

          More on this though.

          TO be classified as Married for the 2009 Tax year (The year we are still in for another day) YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED BY 11:59 NEW YEARS EVE.

          Also, I don't know what state you are in but if you live in Common Law marriage state, you can be classified as a married couple by just announcing that you are married.

          Commonlaw marriage states that recognise this are: Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Rhode Island, S. Carolin, Iowa, Montana, Oklahoma and Texas and the District of Columbia.

          Write back if you need more info.

          LIKE I SAID BEFORE, THIS ONLY REALLY MATTERS IF YOU ARE UNDER 24 AND ARE IN SCHOOL FULL TIME AS YOUR PARENTS STILL LEGALLY CLAIM YOU AND YOU CAN'T. Write back if you have any other questions about tax law and so on. Best thing is that Federal Tax law is the same for EVERYONE reguardless of where they are and what I know can still apply to you.

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          • Jen118584
            14 years ago

            He said he's in a junior college. If he lives in the US, junior college means it's just a two year program or a vocational school. If this is the case, the military/air force would be a better option career wise.

            I agree with your sentiments about going to war, but to be honest, I'm not well versed enough in politics to even fully understand why we're fighting the war and what the implications of pulling out would be. Thus, it's really just the concept of war that I oppose rather than the actual war that we are fighting.

            As for running out and getting married at the last possible minute, I'm not sure that's a great idea. I just don't think people should rush into getting married for financial reasons, regardless of how sound your relationship is. These two are young, less than two years out of high school.

            Poster, talk to a recruiter about your options and then talk with your girlfriend again. Let her know that this is a serious decision. I hope you make the right choice for you and I hope she supports you and that it all works out :)

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            • [Old Memory]
              14 years ago

              Granted, he said he was in a junior college but throughout my schooling and being turned down for various jobs, it is more based upon experience than education and a degree won't matter as much.

              Am I contridicting myself, perhaps. However, I just never heard anyone ever proud of going into the military if they aren't meant for it and my sister (I don't like her but I do listen) regrets going when she went.

              You can always add memories but you can't subtract them. If you have Post Tramatic Stress Disorder as a result of going, it could affect the rest of your life with your mental status. Also, it has been stated that the injury/cripple casulaties are 10 times more than the death rate and I stopped paying attention to that number last year at three thousand. Honestly, as I am facing a life in a wheelchair, I would much rather walk when I can than give it up.

              Either way, the author needs to decide what he needs to do on his own. We three are trying to show him some ideas around what he is troubled with.

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  • Karategurl
    13 years ago

    Why should your girlfriend be enthusiastic about your idea of joining the military? To almost seldom see a loved one and know they are staring death in the face is, I can guarantee, a horrible feeling. I would probably say the same thing if I had a BF who wanted to join the army.
    There are other ways to better your financial situation than join the army.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Joining the military is not bettering yourself. I am the same as your gf. If my man ever decided to join we would be done with because Im not about to have a sometimes boyfriend. Which is exactly what military men are. It's up to you but if you go don't expect to hear from her again. It's a selfish move.

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