Is it normal to want to die because physical pain

I am a 19 almost 20 next month I am a female not married no kids and I have a so called chronic pain problem in my back, knees, and neck and doctors can't find out why I have these problems, I have cut myself several times because I am so sick of the pain.. I have tried speaking to doctors who specialize in pain and mental health team... but cant get anyone to understand what my life actually feels like, I have a hard time getting out of bed, I am not over weight I am 5'8 weigh 130 lbs its just being in constant pain has really got me down my boyfriend dumped me around the same time i have been having all these pain problems and its like he doesn't even care. I would like to die to get rid of the pain but my parents keep stopping me or my therapist finds out how I am feeling and sends me away. are these feelings normal or am I just over reacting.

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84% Normal
Based on 245 votes (207 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • dontknow

    Find your center.
    The amazing thing that makes us human is our duality. There is the you that feels all of this pain and then there is your true self that can observe the 'self' that is experiencing this pain.
    No, wait, I know it sounds crazy but listen...

    People who have experinced unspeakable torture talk of going to a place where they find their true self - one that can observe the 'self' you are currently identifying with or what some refer to as 'ego.'

    So try to understand it using this metaphor for the pain:

    When a smoke alarm goes off and makes all of this noise (your pain)it is an autonomic nervous system trying to get your brain's attention to look at what might be causing it. Once your brain sees that you are not being stabbed to death or not on fire, then you can immediately go to a place in your secure, observer, true self that realizes your body is just doing its job telling you but is like a smoke detector that your brain just can't figure how to turn off already!

    Think of it like a child, a small little child that doesn't know any better and keeps crying, but you alone know that everything will be okay, so you can attempt to calm the child and just might or you can simply observe as the child kicks and screams and smile to yourself because you know that it is only the pain and not you, not the real you. You are beautiful! You are necessary! You make a great contribution! Beleive it, beleive in you.

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  • Alwayscometogethernomatterwhat

    This might sound like a long shot for some people, but I'm gonna give the advice anyway.

    My uncle, who married my aunt a few years ago, is from Turkish origin. He used to be an allround handyman in Turkey, but became a construction worker when he moved to my country. About eight years ago, during his "handyman" days back in Turkey he fell 15 feet straight down on his back. "Luckily", he's still able to walk. Needless to say, his back was badly injured and he needed surgery to straighten his spline again.

    The surgeon at that time told him that if he didn't have problems during the next ten years, he would be out of the clear. Unfortunatly, he started having serious pain again two years ago. He went to all sorts of different doctors who all prescribed him a variety of painkillers. They helped a little, but he was still in pain.

    In a vacation period, we went to the sea for a weekend with the whole family. I smoke weed, my brother smokes weed, and we shared a room with my aunt and uncle. While we were tokin' up, my uncle asked us if it's weed we're smoking. Since there was no point in denying, we just said yes. To our amazement, he asked if he could take a few puffs. We gladly passed the joint, he toked up, I rolled one for him alone to smoke up and we all went to bed.

    The next morning, my uncle came up to me and said that this had been the only night in two years he didn't wake up and started crying due to the pain he was in. Meaning, weed helped him a lot to coope with his pain.

    Since then, I drop by at my aunt's and uncle's place every week and give my uncle one joint. He hasn't had pain since. One joint keeps him out of the pain zone for approximately one week.

    If you don't smoke, you can always bake spacecake, it helps as well.

    And to all the nay-sayers regarding weed: don't be so naive and blind. If you have a medical condition and you don't want to use weed to reduce the pain, just because others think it's wrong, then start being a little more "selfish". It's your problem, not anyone else's. You can't let a chronic disease get you down, just because the only real medication for it is wrongfully considered illegal.

    If you need a recipy for spacecake (or maybe herbal tea), you can always ask. Try it, there's nothing to lose.

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    • dalmationUntoyourSoul

      i second that. when you take pain pills you can actually hurt yourself worse when you are on them by overextending the parts of your body that are fragile. smoking herb will actually relax you enough to let your body deal with things. also, pain pills stop your body from making natural pain fighting chemicals so when you stop taking them you will be in even worse pain than before. it also helps you to rest and have an appetite, something that people in pain usually don't have.

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  • painintheback

    I have chronic back pain that has been going on for well over 20 years now. I had a surgery go wrong and make me worse in 2005 followed by a surgery to fix the first. I cannot sleep. My medications make me sick at my stomach as well as the other side effects and I cannot eat most of the time. I have to work or my family cannot survive. It's like there is no end to it all. But everyday I manage to get up and live it one more time. Everytime I look at my gun and think about ending it all, I come up with a reason not to do it. I hope I always have a reason not to do it. But if for no other reason, why inflict pain on others just because I don't want to live with my problems? Would I rather hurt, or do I want to be responsible for someone else's pain for the rest of their life? This too shall pass and happiness will abide in our hearts again and then we will forget how bad it was juat as easily as we forgot how good it was when we were happy.

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  • It's normal to want to die because something hurts really bad, but please don't. Things will get better if you give them enough time =]

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  • God I hate writing when I see a bunch of post before mine becuase I feel that I won't help.

    But yours is different so let me try. I have Multiple Sclerosis:
    --------------------

    MS is a nice way of saying my immune system likes to attack my nervous system. It is more complex than that but that is the idea. Because my nerves are being damaged, I could lose all feeling and mobilization of various limbs or develop severe pain and it last for months.

    I have been lucky and my pain has been rather limited but I understand what you are saying about me not being able to walk or having to scoop the poop out of my butt because I can't force the poop out as I cannot feel back there.

    I know how it is to have your body not work right and I wish I could tell you it will get better, I can't.

    My worst case of an MS attack was in my brain area and it caused Verigo for a full month. I could not move becuase of extreme dizziness and when I did move I would throw up. I had to drop out of work and school (Doing both at that time). I begged people to let me die as I was truly beyond help. After a full month passed, I started to get better and now I had to start over now that I am better.

    Do I wish I would have died, no. Am I afraid of death though, no. If death is coming, I can accept it without fear and I highly doubt I will live beyond 60 and if I do, I am sure I will be crippled.

    What I am trying to say is do whatever you need to do, I am just stating my problem which is similar but different to try to help you understand yours. Just if you decide to go, let people around you know how you feel and don't be a pussy and leave a note as that is truly unfair for those who care and support you now.

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  • specialist

    After reading this, I am mentally tough but my emotions rolled and a streak of tears are spilling down my cheeks.
    Dont suicide yourself, just wait a bit longer and the doctors will help you out.
    You dont want to die and the doctors find a cure only then do you?
    Hang in there....
    Just hang in there...

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  • lk4me

    i have thought so at times when life has been so shit i have questioned my very existence. especially since i believe in god and heaven's gotta be a hell of a lot better than this lol. however. don't ever go so far as to actually trying kill yourself or anything. it might be hard to think of right now, but there are so many great things about life, no matter how little, which make life much more worth living.

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  • geckopaws

    I think its pretty normal to want to give up on life if you're life isn't going so great or you're in pain. Thats normal. I have a major pain disorder and if they haven't done mri's yet how the hell are they going to find the source of the pain I mean you could have fibromygalia thats a pain disorder.

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  • caligurl3

    I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia at 13 years old and i've been struggling with the same issue for quite some time...its very painful and depressing.. i got thru my stages where im happy and pain free but those are very rare... you have to find a pattern, see what you do differently that makes your feel better...I've even been in the same desperate attempt as you..cutting myself.. and now that im older and wiser i realized how stupid it actually is. It took some time to get it completely out of my system but i overcame it without any medical help it is possible! As much as you think its an easier way out...the pain makes your tougher..and if you hold on you will see your brighter days, when you get there your going to love it and cherish it and be so thankful that you'll regret any suicidal thoughts for if you had followed through you wouldnt experience the happiness before you. Wait it out everytime you think of cutting yourself remind yourself life gets better and if you stick around for the fight you'll be rewarded. Please reconsider..honestly ill help you through it

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  • yes, good luck to you. Dont kill yourself. Fight for your life. its quite possible that you will be able to find the cause of your pain and a remedy.

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  • It can FEEL normal, but it is not!

    Believe me, I know. In my life I have had almost 70 broken bones at one time or another, and the pain can drive you to thinking that death would be better.

    It is not, trust me.

    Seek help, please.

    Tobra

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  • WarLord

    Yes it's normal. It's very sad though =[ Not many people know what it's like to live in constant physical pain. I hope they find out what's wrong soon. And yes, your ex is a complete dickhead for dumping you.

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  • divineintent

    yes this is normal, but i suggest you hold together untill hey find out whats wrong.
    i cant beleive your boyfriend dumped you, he must of been an asshole, if he was any good he would of stuck with you the whole way. you seem like a brave girl, im sure you will find someone better when its all over:)

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  • stjimmy

    Reminds me of a House episode. Hang in there, the doctors will figure it out eventually.

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  • coconbus

    you probably just have a lot of emotional pain that transformed into physical pain, you should look on way to heal your emotional pain if you feel you have a lot and your physical pain would probably go away.

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