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life is just a constant nothing for me, nothing matters, nothing motivates me, and does anything make me happy anymore? like sure, i do laugh when im out with my friends, and i do feel content sometimes when im with my family, but have i ever been truly happy? or have i just been lying to myself as a coping mechanism. is this normal? or do i have crippling depression?
The symptoms that you mention are common symptoms of Major Depressive disorder. Very common, and recoverable. Just like any ailment; a cold or a broken leg, you should see a professional if your resting emotion is one of hopelessness.
It takes time. it takes effort.
It is worth it.
Become a Buddhist. I think it helps with motivation and depression, according to my friendly neighborhood Atheists.
You've got a whole life ahead of you, so many people to meet, so many things to look forward to. You got this, okay? Please see a therapist or get on medication. Suicide is never an option.
I have felt this way for a good part of my life.
So in my opinion it's normal but not healthy.
You have to find a way to understand the good in the world, in your world.
And no one can do that for you.
I wish you the best
Do you have depression yes. But knowing that and understanding that is the first step to getting better. Feeling this emptiness is very common. I've experienced myself, I even tried taking my life. And believe me it isn't worth it. The world has so much to give you and you have so much you can do. And if nothing matters to you, then instead of taking your life, why not not take risk and live it to the fullest. Because you have nothing to loose. Good luck. I'm here if you need to talk.