Is it normal to want to cheat and then completely chicken out?

45% Normal
31 Comments

I should start off by mentioning that I have a boyfriend, and he is my first and only person I've had sex with... But recently I've been really flirty with other guys and I even planned dates with two other guys but then cancelled. I felt too guilty and scared to go, I just don't know why I'm on the verge of cheating and I don't know how to get rid of these damn feelings. I love my boyfriend and he's really a great guy, grant it he does have a bad attitude sometimes but we've never argued and he treats me really good... I feel really horrible but then I can't help it sometimes, and I never used to be this way, if someone tried to get at me I'd let them know I was taken and would get annoyed. I wondered if it's maybe because he's my first boyfriend, I know it sounds lame, and only person I've been in bed with... But has anyone had this problem. Or can anyone offer advice? I don't want to end up a slut but they really are strong urges. =(

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 38 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    Oof slut served up with a side of chicken.

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  • changes123
    10 years ago

    Has anyone bothered to ask the Age of OP...

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I'm 20, my boyfriend is 30.

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      • changes123
        10 years ago

        Maybe you want attention from other guys... and feel like experimenting...

        Why not just take a break from each other, and reflect on what it is that you really need.

        I doubt wanting to have sex with others guys is the only reason why you feel these urges. Do you feel trapped and bored in this relationship?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Well it's been getting a bit boring but I figure that's normal... I was actually talking to another guy while i was in the same room with him, but he was too wrapped up on the ps3 to notice..

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          • StarTeddy
            10 years ago

            While it's normal for long-term relationships to be less exciting than new ones, it's not really normal for relationships to be "boring". If that's the case then I figure your flirting is really because your current relationship is not exciting enough. Perhaps your boyfriend doesn't pay enough attention to you or make you feel special enough because he takes your relationship for granted, and flirting with other people gives you that rush and excitement that's missing.

            It doesn't seem like something that makes a lot of sense at first but starting new relationships can be an addicting feeling. These people want you and are willing to pursue you--they remind you that you are attractive. Perhaps that's not something you can say about your boyfriend.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              10 years ago

              I did like the flirting, the attention was fun, but I didn't want to go further with the guys who I was flirting with.. So I guess that's like a tease right? But I already stopped that, hopefully I won't get back to it either.

              All I want is a threesome, like we were having sex the other night and I don't want to get into details... but I love the idea of giving someone oral while someones fucking me.. in the ass... I'm sorry I didn't know how else to say that...

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    You want me to be honest?

    Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings of unsatisfaction with the sex you two are having. There are ways besides cheating to increase excitement. However, if you can't think of anything I strongly urge you to dump your boyfriend. It will hurt him less than cheating. Don't selfishly hold on to him at the expense of his feelings.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I can try to push a little more at a threesome... I was hoping I'm just really horny for a while, like how dogs go on heat? I know it's a bad comparison.... But I only recently started being this way that's why...

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Forget talking. Really.
      I say, break up.
      Then go find a guy you like. Maybe even test run a few guys.

      Settle for one that does the job properly.
      And for God's sake, stop trying to cheat already.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        It's not like I'm with my boyfriend just for sex, I do like him a lot... I'm just confused as to why I would be curious about other guys. :/

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        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          Baby, because he's not enough.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            10 years ago

            But, how do I make it enough?

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            • [Old Memory]
              10 years ago

              Question is, what do you really need?

              More sex? Then keep having sex with your bf til your satisfied.
              Better sex? Then show him. Tell him.
              Emotional closeness? Throw out every screen in your immediate environment, and talk.

              I don't know. Only you really know what it is you need.
              Only you know what you're missing.

              If you're missing other guys, then monogamy is not your thing. And that might be something you (and your guys) might need to accept.

              Are you in London?

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  • robbieforgotpw
    10 years ago

    I sharted my drawers

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I used to cheat often, but the funny thing is that I never really wanted to do it. I'd just find myself giving in.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I feel bad just for trying... Your partner must've felt horrible.. :/

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      • andiforoncedonthatehumans
        10 years ago

        Yeah the same as your partner will feel since youre already on the verge.My opinion?Just break up with him most men dont like threesomes with other men plowing with their girl,but then again with another woman....Btw i like how you critise the other people here on iin because they cheated while you posted this thing.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I do think what he did was mean to his partner, he doesn't have to care, you don't either. But he shared a piece of his story and I just gave a thought. Sure I flirted, and planned to do things I already feel bad for that.... So?

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        I don't know if they ever knew or not, I never told them.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Jeez... That's mean... I actually told my bf i was flirting but i assured him i wouldn't do it again.... And then i did it again, but i don't want to tell him anymore i just want to stop..

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          • [Old Memory]
            10 years ago

            Oh yeah totally mean, sort of, I don't think it would have gone down well so I just never did. I think they knew later anyway, my friends are "gossipy".

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              10 years ago

              Yea that's true it's not really an easy topic. I would get scared of being hit lol not that my boyfriend is abusive but I kind of have this fear that if a man is angry he might hit me..

              I also have gossipy friends, it's kind of annoying, I have to hide certain things from them. Except one of my friends she's actually trustworthy..

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  • StarTeddy
    10 years ago

    What is it that makes you want to cheat? Just a random urge or is it something else?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Well, I think it's a random urge... I've flirted with a few of friends and couple random people, then I stop all of a sudden and apologize to my friends. Maybe my heads messing up? I just can't think of a reason and I'm trying to get it under control..

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      • StarTeddy
        10 years ago

        That's really strange. I think it's an impulse problem, you should probably look up information on how to get that under control. Maybe you feel "settled" with your boyfriend and are unconsciously looking for excitement and attention when you flirt with other people. Or maybe now that you have a boyfriend you realize that you want to have the freedom to do whatever you want with other people. If you really can't control yourself, then monogamy is not for you--and that's okay, but you shouldn't be hurting someone by doing this without his knowledge or acceptance.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I think it's the excitement... I haven't flirted at all since i posted this, i think i probably felt ashamed announcing it but i really do just want a threesome and he says he gets a bit turned on thinking of someone fucking me but it's hard for him to share me..

          Thank you StarTeddy! :)

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  • Short4Words
    10 years ago

    Why don't you just make change things up in bed? I mean it's only going to be a different shaped cock anyways.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Well I've hinted at a threesome but he doesn't want to... & i don't have any other ideas, do you have any suggestions?

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