Is it normal to want to be with someone whos online?

78% Normal
8 Comments

There is a lot to this story so bare with me. Im nearly 22, ive never really had a 'boyfriend' only crushes and dates. I got into a hole at about 17 went to college and struggled and never made any friends, never got the chance to go to uni. I've just found myself and im getting confidence. Its all down to a guy I met online. When I was feeling low I researched and found a website which was somewhere people could go who wanted advice from people like themselves.

I didn't think anything of it, but we started emailing and texting and he was just like the male version of myself. He was the best friend ive never had but always wanted. Now ive just fallen for him. We've video chatted and everything. The trouble is i'v kept it from my parents. Well my mum knows I have an online friend, but shes no idea im mad about him now. I know there is a chance it will never work. But I show no interest in anyone else, I cant quite frankly. And I know its bothering my parents. I also haven't told them because they will flip for many reasons. I have gone over and over it again and again in my head and they'll hate it. They dislike my sisters boyfriend and hes not from the online world. Everytime they slate him my heart sinks. They think the online world isn't safe and people on it cant have relationships.

It breaks my heart and I don't know which way to turn. I really really think this guy is for me, I just need reassurance I guess. If I tell them, they'll stop me from speaking to him and get mad. But on the other hand they think im not into anyone else or interested in finding anyone.

The other situation is, im waiting for this guy and I know it might never work but I want to wait. And if I do and it doesn't work I could end up an even older virgin.

And then who will want me?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 18 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Short4Words
    8 years ago

    The only thing I can dispel is that no guy will shun you if you're an older virgin.

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  • 4t4homie
    8 years ago

    What your parents think shouldn't matter. You're 22 - you're an adult. You don't need your parents approval.

    If you feel good about this relationship, go with it. Just know when to leave if things go downhill.

    You don't have to tell them - it's not their business. But don't hide it if they ask, and don't let them sway your opinion if you feel they are wrong.

    If you have no reason to casually bring it up in conversation, then there's no need to have to 'confess' anything.

    Also, don't look at virginity so negatively. It's not a big deal. It's like anything else you do for the first time. It takes practice/experience. You don't magically lose your v-card and become a professional at sex.

    If you rush to lose your virginity:
    a) you still won't be good at it.
    b) it could end badly or in regret.
    c) you're only alleviating a silly social stigma that is rooted in low self-esteem

    Anyone who thinks less of you for that can be thrown back into the pond.

    EDIT: To answer the question yeah it's normal. But it depends on how long you want to keep the relationship online. Online/Long-distance relationships can lead to nothing, be long and drawn out with false hope, and lacks the commitment of being face to face.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      My parents are so controlling its un real. They'll be disappointed in me. Theyre disappointed I haven't had a relationship. Ive hit the wall and don't know where to turn.
      Sex is a big deal to me, I feel so awful it drives me crazy everyday cause im just a loser tbh.

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  • linchpin
    8 years ago

    I'd stay away from online relationships they're trouble.

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  • Arm0se
    8 years ago

    My first romantic relationship was an online one.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Why are your parents controlling your life so much if you are 22? How can they stop you from having an online relationship or any other type?
    It seems your parents are doing their best to chase their adult children out of their lives forever, and you might wish to point this out to them. Don't do it in a fight or argument, but try to make this point in a calm, rational way, one day.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      So online is okay?
      It's the fact how ill work it out. Will I say I'm going to try online dating?
      Or say I want to meet someone online.
      When the time comes ?

      I think it's the fact I've never had a relationship, and they don't know about this guy I like. It makes me feel awful.

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      • thegypsysailor
        8 years ago

        My only feeling about online friendships it that one should be extremely cautious; not everybody is a nice person. There are many on here who could probably give better advice on this, as I've never had an online relationship.
        It still comes down to eventually meeting someone face to face. I would think sooner would be better than later, if you would like a real relationship. If you don't, then that's OK too. There really isn't a big rush, but as someone who has had a few successful relationships, I believe there are few things better, in life.
        As for your folks, you are going to have to set them straight. It is YOUR life, and you will manage it as you see fit and they need to respect that. They have their own lives. Of course they wish what they think is best for you, but in the end, they are still your choices to make, good or bad.

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