Is it normal to want to be loathed by everyone you know
I find myself craving negativity. I want to make hate me.I find myself having fantasiesofbeing obscenely rich and openly mocking charities that want donations and laughing at people who need transplant donors. .I ruined a friend's romantic relationship because I thought it was funny. I often make fun of traumatic or depressing situations that close friends tell me about. If someone tells me I'm being an asshole it makes me want to more of an asshole. I even try and go out of my way to make the woman I love mad at me. I get a out of telling people horrible shit I've done and even make it seem worse than it was just because I love the reaction. fantasies about killing people because their faces annoy me. I applaud rapists and murderers on the news. I hate positive attitudes and thinking.i hate charities, activism, and justice. I'm black and yet I cheered for George Zimmerman (the guy who killed trayvon Martin) and I realize that it's all fucked up but even if a certified psychologist told me what's wrong and gave me the easiest method to change my attitude I wouldn't. Shit, I think even my posting is just another way to get my fix.