Is it normal to want to be anorexic again?

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13 Comments

Hello all. Currently, I am 5'1'' and I my weight alternates between 105 and 108 pounds. Before the weight loss, I weighed 140 pounds. The weight gain has been an issue since I started taking psychiatric medication at age 17 for bipolar disorder. After skipping out my medication occasionally because the weight loss was bothersome, my doctor gave me Topamax along with my regular medication to control my weight. Consequently, I am the weight I am now. I personally would like to look like I did in high school, before my diagnosis and all the meds. I was the same height, but I shifted between 92 and 95 pounds. I really do think I looked better then. At the time, I would only eat one meal a day and ran cross country. But I still had a lot of energy. Some part of me thinks that I'll look better than I do now if I lost another 10 pounds.

Currently, my friends yell at me if I don't eat as much as they do in group settings because they say it is obvious I am being picky. It annoys them. They say I am very skinny, though I don't exactly agree.

I think these mind battles regarding my weight have to do with the fact that girls who hit on my boyfriend are very rail thin... And the fact that my mother likes to tell people I am pregnant when I weigh more because she thinks that will prompt me to hit the gym...

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Based on 74 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago | pl

    First of all, it is normal to have self-esteem problems regarding your weight. I attribute part of that to your complete BITCH of a Mom who probably also has a hand in your mental illness too. A mother does not pull some insensitive bullshit on their child to coerce them into loosing weight. She sounds like a disgusting woman to want her daughter to feel such shame. Seriously. I'm actually kind of pissed off that your Mom would do that to you. What a bitch.

    Anyway, you seem to have kind of a distorted self-image. Your weight isn't bad at all. Your friends see you for what you really look like, you see you for how you think you look. Stay healthy and don't worry so much about being thin. Thin and attractive don't always go hand in hand but lady, you sound thin. And your Mom is a cunt.

    Best of luck to you. Don't listen to the cunt.

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  • Littlebadgirl
    11 years ago

    I think you can get that "skinny look" you want without having to be anorexic. I'm 5'3 and weigh 92 lbs and I don't look too skinny, I look rather skinny but more muscular than skinny. You can be like that too and you don't have to starve to get there! Just eat really healthy and organized, and workout everyday. You'll have the body you've always wanted but in a healthy way :)

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    • VioletTrees
      11 years ago

      5'3 and 92 lbs is underweight, though. That doesn't mean that it's impossible to be healthy at that weight, and I'm not saying that you're unhealthy. But if the OP was diagnosed with anorexia at 92 lbs, then that weight is unhealthy for her (incidentally, it's also underweight if you're 5'1). They don't really diagnose anorexia nervosa in people who are a healthy weight (which is kind of a problem, actually, but that's another issue).

      I know your comment is well-meaning, but telling somebody who's got a history of eating disorders she can get down to 92 lbs by eating healthy and exercising can be really, really triggering. You CAN'T recover from anorexia or bulimia while trying to lose weight. I can't speak for the OP, but as a woman with an eating disorder, I can say that your comment would be very triggering to me.

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  • Isabella80s
    11 years ago

    Yeah, your mum needs to stop saying things like that. It sounds like you have self esteem issues and what she's saying is just immature and irresponsible. To be honest, you don't weigh much at all and probably are quite thin - you just don't see it. I weight a lot more than you and granted, I am a bit taller too BUT I even look a little on the thin side. I recently lost a few pounds during a stressful time and really want to put them back on. Please try to get yourself better and don't live a life ruled by anorexia. One of my friends used to be anorexic and she was so lost for about three years in total, but now she's got it all under control and is a happy person and weighs a healthy amount. Good luck - it's a hard battle but not an impossible one.

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    Just because you had a lot of energy off of one meal a day back then doesn't mean you will now. Your body is aging and it is extremely important for you to take care of yourself now more than ever.I used to be able to go a day without eating and be excellent, but now, at 22, when I do that I feel very dizzy and weak.

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  • Charle44
    11 years ago

    Let's face it, you can never trust your self-image when it comes to weight. Ever again - for the rest of your life. You know that this is something that you've gotten wrong, so wrong that it was ruining your health and it required medication. You know for a fact that your gut instinct about your body is so wrong that if you trusted it, you'd end up dying. Don't ever, ever trust yourself on this. If your car had a busted fuel gauge, it wouldn't magically get fixed once you got your car towed. It'd be something that was unreliable, and you'd be foolish to go driving off on a long trip based on what it says.

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  • imaz
    1 year ago

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  • Steve2.0
    8 years ago

    Hmmm, that's a hard ditch to fill, child.

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  • fissionmailed
    11 years ago

    Don't starve yourself, it's not healthy nor does it look good. People who do that are idiots that don't know the simple way to losing weight is daily cardio(jogging, swimming etc.) and proper nutrition(eat natural foods(fruits, veggies, salads, lean meat,whole grains). Another thing, don't waste your money on a gym membership.

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  • sega31098
    11 years ago

    Anorexia never works for losing weight.
    It just starves you, and eats your muscle before your fat. Try eating small meals throughout the day.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Don't do it.

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  • giaxmachado
    11 years ago

    honestly your weight is legit perfect for your height. At your old weight you were dangerously under weight. Its normal to want to be skinnier but for you but its not necessary.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    when people are that skinny they look sickly so you shouldn't make your self like that again

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