Is it normal to want the spark back?!

8 Comments

Hi,

I have been with my partner for a year, He is 27 and I'm 23. When we first met things were good and fun and we both were very happy!.

Now, I'm starting to get bored and fed up, and I just don't feel the spark between us anymore and I'm thinking he might be feeling abit the same.

He says I should let him do more things he likes, like going to the gym, playing playstation and watching footy (I only get to see him on weekends).. but I think what his saying is fair. I should let him do more of those things, which I will. But that's what he wants and thinks will make him feel better, but doesn't really care about my feelings. He literally said, "if you're not happy then thats not my fault".

The reason I'm not happy is because that fun and excitement is gone, he doesn't hug me or kiss me much unless I bring the subject up/ ask him to hug me.. And the rest.. Well we don't have sex much and when we do.. He doesn't touch me or anything!. He makes me feel like he isn't attracted to me or it just makes me feel sad in general. Everything just seems forced and stressful, even choosing what to have for dinner is stressful.

I try and talk to him but it doesn't seem to fix anything and things just go back the same.

I genuinely appreciate all the things he does for me, but the most important thing in a relationship for me is the love, affection and appriciation.. Which I feel the spark is slowly dying on.

I just want him to smile and be happy and I want to share that happiness too.

Go your separate ways 5
Try talk about it again and again 6
He isn't going to change 2
Your being unreasonable 4
He's being unreasonable 3
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Comments ( 8 )
  • bleach_baby
    8 years ago

    It sounds like this relationship has kinda run its course. Having sex less after a year is normal, things being a bit more familiar and less exciting is normal, but the bare minimum you should have in a relationship is wanting to be around each other and enjoying seeing each other. Forced and stressful are the last things it should be at this point - it's not like you're married with kids.

    I personally think that, given what one gives up to be in a relationship, you should only be in a relationship with someone if they're pretty much your favourite person.

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    • peaches1992
      8 years ago

      I still always look forward to see him, and enjoy spending my weekends with him. But on the same note, I'm out of work at the moment due to an injury. I have been asking myself if he should be wanting to spend time with me rather than playing playstation and watching the footy and going to the gym, but then again I think thats abit selfish of me, because he works all week so he should get time to do those things without me hassling him for his attention. And he still says he likes seeing me and looks forward to spending time with me.. But yes sometimes it does pass my mind if he means what he is saying, or if this relationship has just run its course and its time to move on.

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      • bleach_baby
        8 years ago

        Ahhh that kinda puts a different spin on things. I was out of work for about six months, and it put a strain on my relationship because you just have so much more time and need so much more from the relationship. Could just be a rough patch. Try and give him a bit of space and maybe you'll bounce back.

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  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    He literally said, "if you're not happy then thats not my fault".

    That right there is why you need to get out you have a problem that takes 2 ppl to fix and hes not going to be 1 of them.

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    • peaches1992
      8 years ago

      Thankyou, I wasn't sure if maybe I was literally reading too much into it and making myself unhappy.. But thankyou for reminding me that it takes two

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    There must be thousands of places on the web where you could find good information on how to rekindle the spark in your relationship.
    Unfortunately, IIN probably isn't one of them. From the posts I've read, most users here don't or haven't ever had any sort of relationship with anyone besides themselves. Most of those who have either hate women or men after their experience. They all hate those of us with a good, strong, loving relationship, I guess because they are jealous.
    Sorry, wrong site, IMO.

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    • forgotusernameagain
      7 years ago

      Lmao

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    • peaches1992
      8 years ago

      Thanks for your feedback, I just wanted peoples opinions on my specific circumstances, hence why I posted here. But will do some research aswell

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