Is it normal to want my wife to shave herself?

She does not belong to you, she does not have to do what you say. It's fine to have your preferences but you should never expect someone else to change what they're comfortable with for yourself. That's just selfish.

neither way is normal - it's a personal preference.

Just as a male's mustache or beard is a personal preference and neither choice is more normal than the other.

Yes you can make requests but... as an adult you have to accept that she has the right to say "no".

it's her hair - her preference IS more important than yours.
just as your preference to facial hair on your own face is more important than her option too

I can understand her not wanting to shave, that's time consuming and ingrown hairs can be painful, but by trim do you mean grab a pair of scissors and cut it short so it's not sticking out the sides of her undies? or trim as in styled into a landing strip or whatever.

Personal opinion as a woman, if she wants your face down there she should at least trim, same goes for guys though. If she asked would you shave your balls?

It’s her body and her choice, to use a cliche. Maybe she’ll compromise and trim her bush enough for you to eat her easier.

It is her call but like we trim our mustache and beard, they shave legs etc, one should stay neatly trimmed. (even there)

My sexually-active 19 yo son tells me that all sexually active young women shave down there these days. Maybe the culture has been influenced by porn movies, where shaving enhances visibility.
It's not a hassle to shave and marriage is about doing those little things to turn each other on. It's not like you're asking her to do anal. Unless it would cause her great anxiety to shave down there (and that is certainly possible), I think she should do it to please you.

Both are normal, it's just a matter of preference.

Unfortunately for you, she thinks her preference is more important than yours.

That's pretty gross. Not everyone likes taking a trip to the Amazon jungle!