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many of my friends are pretty messed up. obviously i wont get into it, but they have alot of problems. i dont really have that many. they go through so much, but i dont at all. which leads me to the question. is it normal to want more problems to feel validated? i just feel like i dont have a place to speak in anything given my situation vs theirs.
You don't want problems. Validation should come from within. You should put yourself into difficult experiences and then overcome them. Problems are negative, and while they do give growth when overcome, they often leave trails of pain. Seek out difficult tasks and challenges and conquer them to build character. There is no shame in opportunity.
I resonate with this, but its such a toxic outlook on things. I'm working towards finding more positive things about myself for validation. Hopefully you can as well.
I think you should look for some new friends. Don't dump your current friends, but do try to spend some alone, and or with new friends who have less drama. Try to find a hobby that interests you. You probably need a break from all the drama drama.
its not that there dramatic per-se, in fact there very good to me. were all really close, and i wouldnt trade them for the world.
its just that alot of them have gone through so much, and i havent at all. if you never talked to them, you wouldnt even guess about what some of them have gone through. thats why i feel like i cant really "talk" when it comes to things like that, or much in general. thank you so much for your advice though.
Oh, I feel you, and I see what you are saying. I just think it wouldn't hurt for you to diversify some of your social experiences. I think it's good to stand by your friends, and support them, you can even pray for them with regard to the experiences they've been through and issues they might have. Just don't compare yourself to anyone or think that your own feelings are any less valid, or worth hearing. Sometimes when it comes the the heavy shit people have been through you just have to say there but for the grace of God go I. You don't have to be a person of faith say or appreciate that figure of speech. For whatever reason you have been spared certain traumas in this life. Just be grateful for the fact that you have been spared certain life experiences, and always hope the best for those who have had such experiences.