Is it normal to want gay rape?

Seriously...I keep thinking about it all the time! Whenevr I'm alone, I fantasise about being raped...and not just rape, but by a gay guy. Usually he's black, but not always. I'm a chilled out guy, but a little self concious about my body, especially my penis, which is only about 4 inches long. I masterbate over gay porn and often want to be tied down and gagged. I even want the black man to lick my toes...Am I normal?? I know my fantasies are slightly wierd, but does anyone else think about this too? And should I tell my girlfriend? I mean, she might not want to stay with me. She might even take the kids...
And I cant deal with that...But I want the black man...