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So recently I watched a tv show, skins. One of the characters got in a relationship that was very love hate, like he would hit her, but would be caring after. Somehow I want that?
You need to get yourself some therapy to deal with your self hate: that type of relationship is very destructive and almost invariably the violence escalates, but women convince themselves he still "loves" her because he's nice to her afterwards.
Don't be fooled, it's not worth it
That's messed up, and you know it otherwise you wouldn't be asking us. Guys like that deserve to be put in jail, and put in general population so they can get their asses kicked.
Trying that could be dangerous, anyone who is going to hurt his or her partner is not someone you want in you're life. The results could be devastating or even lethal.
Most girls want and do enjoy that. But it's best that you keep it to yourself, because polite society still has a hard time coming to terms with it.
You want to be a human doormat to some pathetic loser who hits women to cover up his insecurities?! Surely you can do better than that, seriously. Abusive relationships are not normal and it's not something you want.
Somehow normal to feel some sort of desire. More important is to realize that life isn't like that, and if you try that you'll most likely hate it. Conclusion: If you feel the urge to do it, try it in a very controlled environment before you move on and decide if you really want it, so you can stop it anytime.