Is it normal to want an abusive ex out of your kid's life

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3 Comments

I'm out of a bad relationship. 2 kids, 2 dads. the ex was abusive towards myself and my older kid (not his, but only father that child new for whole life).

When I broke up he said he didn't want anything to do with any of us and refused to let us have any of our stuff including the kids pets! He was out of our lives for a year we have been doing great now hes decided he wants to be in only the younger child's life (his biological child).

I don't want my children to be exposed to him or his abusivness. I know he hasn't got any help.

The kid doesn't even know who he is, The older one remembers and is horrified to find out that this guy wants to see the sibing but not her.

is it normal to think that having him in the one kids life will mess up both kids and he is better off gone?

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95% Normal
Based on 55 votes (52 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • dappled
    13 years ago

    This is a really tricky situation. He is a parent and obviously has some rights. You too have rights not to have to deal with someone who was abusive. Most importantly, your children have the right to a happy life but also to know their father/step-father. In this case, I don't think you can deal with it yourself. I don't know what bodies there are in your country for dealing with issues like this but I think you need some kind of arbitration or conciliatory service to arrange an appropriate level of access (even if that is no access at all) and also procedures to be undertaken if he breaks any of the rules of his access.

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  • puppy-ray
    13 years ago

    What you should have done in the begining was to have gotten him to give up his custode of his child. He wanted nothing to do with you all, then you should have made it legal. I have seen this situation before. My friend was in a horrible marriage (he was a alcoholic but not really abusive) And she went through with the divorce. He never showed up to the court hearings and they even tried to call all of his phone #'s. He never picked up or showed up. This went on for three days, and the judge was forced to assume that he wanted nothing to do with the child and basically gave full custdy to the mother.

    Basically what is the legal situation? Does he actually have rights to see the child? Do you have any evidence that he is abusive/violent towards you or children? If you do, the get a good lawyer and prove to the court that he is unfit to see your child under ANY circumstance whotsoever. And get him on back-child-support...(my mother did...and now my dad is in debt forever...and i'm 21 now!)

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  • CruelHeartz
    13 years ago

    Let him out of your life and your kids life..

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