Is it normal to want a squirrel haircut?

53% Normal
24 Comments

I have never liked getting haircuts. The rote conversation of the barber (holiday, job, football) and then the inevitable slide into him telling you how he'd solve world problems. It invariably involves "putting people up against the wall". Then the queue of people who don't want to read the magazines (and why would they want to read "Nazism Today"?) so instead they just watch you get a haircut. Getting a haircut is not a spectator sport!

Serious thought: Why can't we train squirrels to cut hair? They don't need to talk about their objectionable politics, they're cute and would keep you entertained just from the novelty of the haircut and if they get too close you don't get barber breath but instead a brush of squirrel fur.

This could work. Right? Just look at the little dude below. His paws are already assuming the position, ready to hold the scissors!

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 45 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 24 )
  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    Interesting idea, but remember that even "trained animals" are prone to attacking. There's allot that could go wrong with this.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Squirrels can... go nuts? :O

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      • Avant-Garde
        10 years ago

        Don't I know? Its quite scandalous too. Those nuts are like little parasites in disguise and when a squirrel comes in contact with them it looks for a way to gain control of their brains. The more diabolical the better!

        *Somewhere a nut is laughing evilly and another squirrel is pillaging a grocery store*

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          This made me laugh so much! I've heard of a bank job but this is a nut job!

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          • Avant-Garde
            10 years ago

            Its about time that I did my job right! (Laughter, that is.)

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    I read the title and thought you might want a long, bushy, red ponytail, like a squirrel. I was going to endorse this haircut decision but, alas, it wasn't about that at all.

    Squirrels evidently have a great sense of style and dexterity though, so why not get a haircut from one? ^_^

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Ahh, but perhaps introducing duality of meaning into the title was a trick (so as to draw in people who want to believe either meaning). Or maybe it was a trap (to see who reads the whole story).

      In truth, neither. I just thought it sounded funny, like, "So Bruce... you got one of those squirrel haircuts, eh?"

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  • Allistalla
    11 years ago

    I think you should post the response of the hiarplace when you say " I want you to cut my hiar like a squirral ? " I think that sounds intresting and get the bush man .

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  • GuessWho
    11 years ago

    You must be high or drunk. (...and the moderator that let this through too)
    That's just far too ridiculous for me to believe you're serious.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      You could say the same about seeing-eye dogs or pets that can smell oncoming epileptic fits. But it seems commonplace now.

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  • Dulse.
    11 years ago

    They would need to be equipped with squirrel sized scissors, but it could be a nice haircut experience.

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  • jondoerandom
    11 years ago

    I think you'd be better off with chimps. I can't promise you a good haircut, but at least it'll take you 5 min. to teach them to use scissors.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Because they can't hold scissors.

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  • BlackDays
    11 years ago

    No scissors near my head dude. I'd prefer it if a kangaroo and a koala just played with mine. A sloth, too. They are so damn cute.

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  • sassafrassi
    11 years ago

    I hate squirrels. One of my old neighbors would throw bread out their window and this squirrel would guard their balcony.

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  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    Best story ever. I thought you wanted a bushy haircut too.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    Are you sure you can trust the furry creature? He looks seaky and mischevious.

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  • JustDave
    11 years ago

    I'd be afraid the little rodent would fly up my pantleg & chomp into my nuts.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I think sir would be charged extra for such a service. :P

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    • Avant-Garde
      11 years ago

      Reminds me of that scene in the Iron Giant:P

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Just as long as they don't start throwing pine-cones, I think I'd prefer woodland creatures cutting my hair to humans doing the job. I think I'd also like some blue birds helping as well. And buttonquail to pick up the clippings that fall to the floor.

    At first I thought you wanted a haircut that looked like the fur of a squirrel, like a mullet. It's because of the way you worded the title. You could have put "IIN to want a haircut given by a squirrel?"

    I hope your story gets approved. It pisses me off when cool stories like this get guttered.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Hehe, just another step on the long pathway to me becoming a Grammar Jew. :/

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        The mistake made it funnier. :)

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    • shuggy-chan
      11 years ago

      SAME, i was like omg i want the squirrel do, then i read it an was dissapointed yet again

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