Is it normal to treat your own kid really bad but be nice to others?

24% Normal

People have said to me that i would be a good parent. Based on the fact of how i am with their kids. But when it comes to my own i'm constantly shouting at every little thing that is done wrong like when they take ages to change their clothes or when they splash milk on their face while having cereal. so i gues what i am asking is my behaviour as a parent normal or am i a fucked person whose children are going to resent me. I would just like to know and how can i change to be a much better parent please i don't want to alienate my children i love them to bits but the way i am with them makes it look like i don't i really really want to change to be better for them any help or advice you can give will be a great help.

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24% Normal

Based on 62 votes (15 yes)

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Comments ( 17 )

thegypsysailor

10 years ago

As a single parent of two daughters I speak from a tiny bit of experience.
Ever heard of "pushing or getting one's buttons pushed"? Your children are EXPERTS at learning your buttons and pushing them. To this day whenever anyone says "whatever" in just the right way, I want to slap them silly, because my youngest would say it at just the wrong time with just the right inflection; KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know how, but she still lives.
And the other side of the coin is words that can hurt or even make your kids cry, way out of proportion to the situation. Learn to notice these buttons and don't rise to the bait. You are stronger than they are; you're a Mon! Control your responses and only let them fit the situation, not your mood or frustration level.
But you must remember, Mom's are people too. You need time to yourself, away from the wonderful/horrible little monsters your (our) children are, and you can't be blamed for not being totally in control all the time, even though that is what you must (should) be.
You absolutely must have that quiet time in the bath or reading in the yard, or whatever it is that you retire to to get way from the hectic every day stuff. Nap time, or a friend watching them; I don't know who or how, but I do know that you must decompress, for a little while each day.
Then perhaps, you'll find that it doesn't take any work at all, to be nice to your own kids even if they are hammering on your buttons!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Thanks i will be sure to keep that in mind
  
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KingRabbit

10 years ago

It sounds like you hold your kids to a higher standard than others. I think that's normal. Try to relax and remember, they're only kids. It's their job to drive you nuts.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Yes this is true thanks.
  
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GoraIntoDesiGals

10 years ago

Totally like my dad used to be and I'm a fucked up adult now so please apologise to your kids and stop doing that.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Thanks.
  
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[Old Memory]

10 years ago

Try being more patient.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  I have tried lord knows i try but something in me just snaps.
  
  It's like i expect too much.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    10 years ago
    
    I don't have any kids but have lived with people with kids. I get along with them fine but once they're around constantly I cannot deal with it. I will likely never have kids because I think it would make me unhappy so I can understand it would be a challenge. From your post you do not sound abusive but more likely exhausted from parenting.
    One thing that might work to get alone time is give them something that occupies them for long period's of time. Video games are great for this. Even with kids that are too young to understand what's going on you can give them a controller and put it on demo mode and they will think they are playing.
    
    Also if you never expect anything you will never be disappointed.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      10 years ago
      
      Thanks you've been very helpful.
      
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daddyjm2014

10 years ago

My dad was like that with me and my sister it hurts and is everlasting please make a cjange because ur children will never forget the way there treated and will more than likely think its normal to treat thwre kids the same way with they have a family of there own

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helpmemmmmmmmm

10 years ago

when your kids grow up they will leave u or send u where old people stay! u r a bad parent they have the right to leave u! u r such a bad parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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- Terence_the_viking
  
  10 years ago
  
  Isn't that what they do anyways
  
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Avant-Garde

10 years ago

It is quite possible that will grow up to somehow resent you... Just try to be calmer with them. Do they seem afraid or bothered by your yelling? Maybe, you should sit down with them and talk to them about this.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  thanks i shall be sure to try that.
  
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[Old Memory]

10 years ago

they love you and you love them , remember to tell them and say sorry when youre mean. encourage them to remind you when your're being mean.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  10 years ago
  
  Thanks for the kind words.
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal to treat your own kid really bad but be nice to others?