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I believe that, over the years, I have been going more and more insane the more events pass. but the thing is...I like it. is this normal?
This is a pretty keen insight. Contrary to popular belief, the kind of people who go into therapy are totally sane. The crazy ones refuse; they are convinced of their sanity. It's catch-22!
Joseph Heller explains it best in the book:
"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them. If he flew them, he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to, he was sane and had to."
I think that some insane poeple can reconize thier a issue sometimes when they realize the changes in thier perception . Also it would help if your more specific no one even the best trrained doctor cant guess from this .
If you suspect you're insane that is the first step to becoming an artist.
I feel the same way since I was little I would have these horrible thoughts and worried i would grow up to be full on insane. It's like on the outside i am totally normal but inside well, it scares me sometimes... but I guess I'm only afraid someone else will find out.