Is it normal to think that spanking is not bdsm?

89% Normal
9 Comments

I'll let the cat out of the bag, I have a huge spanking fetish. Nothing turns me on more than the thought of a big, strong guy turning me over his knee and smacking my bare bottom until it's cherry red...and then cuddling me as I shake with sobs. However, whenever I mention something like this, people respond with, "Oh, you're into BDSM? I hate that stuff." But really, I think of BDSM as like being gagged and tied, and beaten, and nipple clamps and all that stuff. And I hate it all. I like the warm, loving, fuzziness of a hard spanking, but detest the thought of merciless torture. Does anyone else agree with me that there is a distinct difference?

Voting Results
89% Normal
Based on 35 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • dfwdisciplinarian
    9 years ago

    Adult spanking CAN fall into the category of BDSM but it does not always have to. In other words, if you are involved with BDSM then chances are you are involved with spankings (along with many other things), but if you are involved with only spanking -particularly a disciplinary style spanking/paddling- then you are not necessarily involved in BDSM.
    http://www.DfwDisciplinarian.com

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  • tough1
    9 years ago

    If you enjoy it then all is good.

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  • mockduck
    11 years ago

    Absolutely there's a distinct difference. BDSM is leather corsets and whips and restraints and dungeons. And Spanking is an upturned bottom being smacked, paddled or strapped - in a living room, a bedroom, a classroom, wherever.

    The exclusive focusing of attention on someone's bottom is much more central to the spanking experience than it is to BDSM. I love my bare bum being the star of the show when I'm getting spanked. BDSM is far more concerned with Dominance & Submission.

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    Also, it's not merciless torture. Everything is consensual. I really think you should look this up and study it more. You seem to be thinking in a stereotypical sense.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Perhaps so. It is just that a lot of the spanking stories I find online involve things that annoy me like enemas, and bondage, and blindfolding, and so I guess maybe I am being ignorant, but this is the way it appears to me. Maybe what I am saying is I like a more cuddly "daddy/daughter" type of pain, than all the rest which seems a little overboard to me. And true, spanking is part of the discipline in BDSM, but were I to waltz up to a guy and tell him I was into BDSM, I am quite sure he would get the wrong idea.

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      • Avant-Garde
        12 years ago

        I know how you feel. That's why I'm often reluctant to bring up my interest in the community. There are so many misconceptions about!

        I'm sure you could find someone who shares the same fetish as you. If not, you try to get a appointment with a dominator. But you'd probably have to insist on the cuddle, though....

        I view BDSM as a art form, but some of the practices leave me feeling very embarrassed and I can't look at them O.0

        Also, theirs a form of bondage that might not be quite as extreme to look at. The Japanese have something called Shibari and they consider the whole process to be an art form.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          12 years ago

          Thanks for your helpful reply! Yes, misconceptions abound, and I guess I can just be more specific next time instead of complaining about it here!

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  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    I think it's normal, but BDSM stands for bondage.discipline.sadomasochism.

    Spanking I believe is part of the "discipline" part. Book an appointment:)

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  • aubreyskye
    10 years ago

    I love it when my hubbie turns me over his knee and gives me a hard sound spanking. He isn't really the dominate type in life, but he sure takes over when we get to the bedroom...and I love it. I am not into severe torture, gags, clamps etc. NO way. But I do like knowing who is in control and have my man take me in hand once in awhile. Very sexy! Usually it's part of our foreplay and then we make passionate soft love...or sometimes a little rough. Depends on the mood. You are perfectly normal and you don't need to classify yourself as anything. You are YOU. Enjoy!

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