Is it normal to think so pessimistically?
In order for a little understanding:
I grew up in a family of inconsistency. Regular mother and father, 3 sons;I am the youngest.
My mother is so sheltered from life that she works 24/7 on taxes in a certain period of time (1/2 year, then works in garden other 1/2). She getting old and loosing it, I am extremely sorry for her... (bad father, immigrants, 7 kids, she was eldest). Therefore she over-compensated us.
My father is seen once a month due to he works for "us," all he does is come home: smoke cigarettes (5 in less than 1 hour), drink pop and watch the stock market, maybe suggest a few things to his kids, like: "can you run to the store for only pop?" I hate that kind of shit....
The eldest son is fucked, he grew up fat because my mom over-fed us (she was so busy, she always bought fast-food and she is on her own with energetic 3 boys).
Anyways, he was made fun of, where do you think he brought his emotions? I wonder... He grew up into adolescence, started selling cocaine in grade 9 to support his drug habits (weed, extacy and cocaine), he eventually got kicked out due to "bad behavior," now he works to get high: smokes, drinks and consumes everything, like a "superbeast."
Just the other day he took me in his car, while high, going 160 down the street with his sound system screaming: " AND DANCE WITH THE DEVIL!!!!" He has many physiological problems (happy then mad, due to drugs and trauma). He always fought with my mother.
The middle brother is basically neutral, he isn't very intelligent like me (spelt school as "SCKOOL" in grade 10). He started dating this fat troll that was in my grade, I remember her in grade 2 elementry having prooblems and getting kicked out? Yeah he lost his virginity to a beast.. He "keeps" everything inside, staying contempt but building anger. Anyways, he glided by and graduated by sitting in those fucking classes. Now he is dating some girl,just as bad, was an "semi-alcoholic"before he was with her and as dumb. BUTT FUCKING RETARDED: "Well since there's water limitations here, we can fill our pool and hot-tub from another water source just as close!"
I think i've lost it.... I wanna live on my own and never have kids, after observing such in-competence.
We take everything for granted, we are dictated by society to do as we are told, just like all humans on earth. Although the direction our species is going, is a primitive and destructive road.
And while where melting in a pot other incidents in our universe are taking course. We are definatly not the only species in our universe and if we are, then thank god I dropped out because we are truly pathetic. Either way, were pathetic and there is no point because were all just big pieces of shit here for no reason, we are a "pool" of gases and dust with the right conditions, why can't I do it my own way, I would rather garden and smoke a little herb than work for corruption.
Is this normal, because I dropped out of highschool?