Is it normal to think my mind is an endless form of torture

deffo go with the inteligent thing, why do you think a lot of scientists end up goin crazy? things go round and round all the time.... deffo go to your doctor, and have you tried meditating, it will help you relax, you can get through this :o)

It's called being intelligent, haha. I've got a high IQ, plus I'm an empathetic person as well, and I always notice how extremely fucked up everything is in the world. It's quite depressing. I would suggest seeing a doctor, especially since my friend committed suicide not too long ago. I personally hate taking psych meds; I hate not having the mental clarity. But if you find an experienced psychiatrist, it can improve the quality of your life drastically.

Yeah I wish there was an off button to the mind.. I surely would turn it off alot. Tired of always thinking of everything and everything.

You gotta get a different perspective in your life. I was the same way but am getting better. Getting interested in things outside of yourself is the best advice I can give you.

Either you can wait it out, and see if the bad feelings go away eventually, or you can seek out a way to relax and quiet your thoughts. Some people have good results from meditation. Look for a technique that's easy to learn, doesn't cost any money, and gives you a quieter mind within a few minutes. Not thought control, not "mindgames", just see if you become quiet and calm. If you can get a hold of ONE trusted friend, someone you can tell ANYTHING to, and they won't judge you or reject you, that will help you get through these dark days.

I know exactly how you feel I am depressed too and I used to think of suicide. I have parents that are just like yours they don't support me at all and it made me hate the world. I went to a phychiatrist and that helped me feel better somewhat. But what really helped me is sticking by my friends and grandparents because I know they care about me. I hope that helps.

i am probably twice your age and still sometimes get depressed over the same things...until you really experience them (or remember you already experienced them), it can be hard to believe that the good things (relatively speaking) exist too, but they do...and of course, they can make life worth living, and sometimes will work themselves into a crappily perceived life just when they are needed...however, i like the quote (roughly, as it is by memory) 'we love and hate for equally stupid reasons'. no matter if this quote is true, go with what feels the most important to you...life feels like a joke more than half the time, but when you're involved with something that you really do care about (if you can eventually find something like that), the moments that don't feel like jokes are amazing, even if you are still somewhat aware that alot of this is f*ing ridiculous and sad...and if you can't find what that thing is or those things are, accepting that there is not a concrete thing to care about can help tremendously and help you just enjoy whatever it is that is infront of you... also don't forget that nothing is permenant. evolution (even w/in humanity) is still going on. who knows what type of race of creatures we will be in the future? perhaps truly awful or dead due to our stupidity, or perhaps some branch of us will be thriving and not destroying everything around us (including ourselves) because we've literally become beings who are not as capable of making idiotic choices, as we do now, so frequently...the only other thought that i can offer on a stupid internet forum is that it doesn't really matter how stupid/fake/immoral other people are...worry about yourself first...in life and death you are truly alone in a way. you are stuck with yourself, so figure out what can actually make you happy, truly happy and healthy...without worrying to excess about what others do/say. at the end of any day, who do you actually have to live with 24/7? You. don't judge others often (or ideally, don't actually feel the judgements that you notice most), just try to contribute in the way that expresses how you wish this world actually was...repetitive, but don't make a point to judge...everyone's most inner life is insanely private, and most of us don't know much about those that we think we know well on the deepest level, let alone those that we see on the street/in the media...it's easier to live life not assuming too much, though i know it's REALLY hard not to assume. without religion to fill in the blanks, all i can say is that we're all stuck here in these same fleshy suits, without explanation...enjoy what you can and don't forget that hopefully your parents or one of your parents really loved you and wanted you to be here (even if they don't know why they wanted that), and enjoy what you can, and help others enjoy what they can as well...(ha ha sorry...so preachy)

Could also be somewhat caused by insecurity?

With depression, your mind is literally your enemy. It's dangerous. And I'm sorry your parents are like that; I hope they sympathize with you and maybe understand soon. In the meantime, focus on yourself. I had to go to therapy and retrain my mind. But I can assure you, I still have my bad days. It's a hormonal imbalance of the brain, you can only treat the symptoms basically and attempt to correct it with psych meds.

When I would go through periods of numbness that followed severe depression, I would have issues with pain addiction. That is not a healthy way to address those feelings. It just intensifies them eventually, and the cycle of depression, mania, and anger to numbness would just spin out of control. It only seemed to relieve the burden for a moment. The first step is to reach out to someone. You cannot fight depression alone. Find a healthy outlet and a good few supportive friends who are positive people, too.

Well the problem is i think of hurting myself but i know i couldnt do that to myself but if the future holds more tragedy for me then i cant b too sure, and divine im sorry to hear about ur loss :( and my other problem is that im already going thru a lot of depression, im constantly lonely other than the few close friends i hav, my parents constantly misunderstand and punish me, and i hav problems sharing feelings with ppl which leads to the conclusion that thats why people dont understand me that well and the constant thoughts r sometimes so horrible cuz i think thru vast amounts of scenarios and some r with horrible things id do and i giv myself chills and hate myself for thinking in such ways

Echoes has a valid point; if your mind isn't constantly occupied with something, you'll eventually start to become a depressed. That is why I'm always trying to use that energy and find something constructive to occupy my time with. Boredom is the prelude to insanity, in my case.

I've been there too. A good doctor can help you.

If you ate having thoughts about hurting yourself, then PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

In the meantime, talk to someone you trust about your thoughts and feelings.

Trust me, life can be good for you.

Well i try to do stuff to keep my mind off of thinking this way but it still it seems i can integrate the thoughts with wat im doing

I'm just like you. I'd say it's normal.

The solution is simple.....keep busy and you won't get a lot of time to do all that thinking.

Try this sudoku.com, play chess online, even video games, hang out with friends, play sports, just keep youself busy anyhow.

There is no shame in finding another trusted adult to talk to. Someone to help you work through your problems, because it will certainly be difficult to do it on your own. Talk to a school counselor, a teacher, a friend's parent, an aunt or uncle.... Is there someone? You can call a suicide hotline, and they may be able to refer you to somewhere local. Things can get better!