Is it normal to think it's selfish for guys to only want sex?

83% Normal
19 Comments

I don't understand: what is SO BAD about girls? why do guys befriend us, sleep with us, and run away when we want something more? We aren't asking you to marry us, bear our children, or to stop living out your dreams. We just want to spend more time with you and have you around to care about us. Girls are just as funny, smart, and relaxed as guys. We can hold conversations and listen well. Why are some guys only after us for sex? Do they just hate the idea of spending time with women?

Why do people think that being single means you're free? When you're in a relationship are you not free? Because you can't sleep with whoever you want? Does it really take that much restraint to be exclusive?

Assuming that I am talking about mature and secure women, we aren't all out to take your lives away from you. We just want to feel cared about. If you're hooking up with other girls, then we don't feel cared about.

Honestly, is there really much of a difference between a relationship and FWB. You're ready to be my friend and have sex with me, but you aren't ready to be exclusive (even if you aren't sleeping with other women). I don't understand this bullshit.

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 47 votes (39 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • Anonymous Post Author
    12 years ago

    I am in college, for one.

    I meet guys through class, student organizations, bars, parties, mutual friends, campus events, etc. I'm not necessarily saying that it's so evil to only want sex. I'm just trying to understand it.

    Who doesn't want more friends? I mean, if you like a girl enough to sleep with her, then why wouldn't you want to get to know her?

    I'm not talking about one-night stands, those are self explanatory. I'm legitimately talking about when a guy befriends a girl and gets to know her, sleeps with her, but doesn't want to date her. If a guy likes you enough to be your friend and sleep with you, then why doesn't he want to date you?

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  • bobtv
    12 years ago

    Genetics. It's build in our blood to do these things, men are not commitment creatures, biology dictates that we are to spread our genes as wide and far as possible. If you study genetics, you would agree with me. There are guys who LOVE commitment and being in relationship though, and there are those who cannot bear it. Move on!

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    • bigtoy
      12 years ago

      Agreed. Men like to conquer and have adventures. Spread their oats so to speak - it's their nature as you rightly say. Women don't think like us and that's why relationships have their ups and downs, right?

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  • Sh33pzilla
    12 years ago

    I detect some bitterness. When women give me this line my first question is: Where are you meeting these guys? The answer is often something like "the bar".

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  • Ark
    12 years ago

    you have been around some fucked up and immature men not all of us are like that I love my baby with all my heart we talk at least 2-3 hours a day and yes sex is great but one of my fav things to do is just hold her in my arms listening to her breath as she sleeps

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  • Omgeeipooped
    11 years ago

    Just treat men like they treat you. it's fun mwahahaha

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  • bigtoy
    12 years ago

    "Who doesn't want more friends? I mean, if you like a girl enough to sleep with her, then why wouldn't you want to get to know her?"
    Funny you should say this - it made me think of a girl that I sometimes hook up with. I like going to bed with her as she's pretty adventurous and the sex is very good, but I'd never date her full time. She is just too brainless. (lol) Don't suppose that makes sense to you but it does to us guys.

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  • kukurami
    12 years ago

    Im with you :)

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  • Tisgranum
    12 years ago

    [quote]If a guy likes you enough to be your friend and sleep with you, then why doesn't he want to date you?[/quote]

    Sometimes two persons who find each other sexually attractive will become friends and remain friends. They may even decide that sex isn't on the table between them because they are friends.

    They are friends and they find each other attractive, so why don't they become a couple? Who knows; they have their reasons is all.

    Sometimes sex complicates things. That guy might have been find to be your friend but sex changes things. Those two friends I mentioned above might refrain from sex due to such reasoning.

    There are ways to improve your chances of ending up in a relationship, but if you want to just go with the flow, you need to understand that the flow might not want to go with you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Ok I can asnwer your question with only reading the first line. Girls like to dress up in a way that would obviously make men want to have sex with you. If you dont want that reaction then dont dress soo slutty (not aimed at you just aimed towards the people who do do it)

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    • Omgeeipooped
      11 years ago

      Umm girls shouldn't have to change the way they dress..Just because a girls wearing something revealing doesn't mean she's just up for sex.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Stop dating idiots? Seems obvious to me.

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    • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
      12 years ago

      This.

      If you keep having the same issue with men, you might want to step back and consider what you found attractive in each of them in the first place.

      You may find that the kind of men you're attracted to - or where you meet them - is the common factor and the issue.

      Perhaps dating outside of your "comfort zone" may help, or may provide insight into finding men who are different from your regular partners.

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  • TyLee
    12 years ago

    You are so right!!!! You are my new hero!!! Everything you said is so true!

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  • InsertBlankHere
    12 years ago

    I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you're looking at the wrong guys. Maybe you need to spend more time getting to know them. Maybe this crap you're going through is just part of the learning process? Do you see any patterns in these guys who treat you this way; common interests or attitudes?
    Maybe it's time you start looking elsewhere.

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  • Tisgranum
    12 years ago

    Trials and tribulations. We are not all the same and it's not everybody who wants the same thing. Just because he didn't want the same thing as you doesn't mean that no one does.

    Your concern should be of finding someone who is on the same level as you are. Not to complain about the ones who aren't.

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  • DannyKanes
    12 years ago

    Scary voice: Assuming direct control

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  • AngAnders112
    12 years ago

    you should read this to the actual man or men in your life that has caused you so much bitterness/frustration

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  • howaminotmyself
    12 years ago

    I think you and the guy are defining "FWB" differently.

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