Is it normal to think abuse is discipline

It's not normal. Child services really should have taken you out of the house when you were a child.

Abuse isn't discipline, it is violence designed to degrade someone as it makes the abuser feel better about himself. Please don't do this to your children! They will not be better disciplined, they will simply fear you! If they were truly disciplined, they would not feel constant fear.

hitting your kids is great for disciplinary reasons, just don't leave a mark. suffocation is not normal. The cops told my parents to hit my brother and I becuase we were so fuck'n stupid. Just don't leave a mark they said.

Spanking is perfectly acceptable. Just so long as it doesn't cross the line to beating/abuse. It seems ur dad crossed that line. Suffocation is only cool in a sexual context.

where i come from, beating children is considered discipline. However, we normally use canes or belts(I'm against using belts tho...), not hands. Using that's not advisable. Caning should stop at a certain age, after a child knows his or her boundaries.

However, like in your case, beatings can go awry. Your dad is a sadist(sorry). Your dad should have stopped at caning. Using his hand like that will just make you afraid every time someone raises their hand in front of you even if they don't intend hurt you. Take it from someone who knows. I used to be slapped as a kid as well by teachers. I still cringe when someone raises their hand in front of me.

Your dad's form of discipline is horribly sadistic and I suggest you go for counselling. 'discipline' like that is bound to have left some very bad emotional scars

you are normal. maybe that's how he was treated a a kid and thinks it's ok, but it isn't.

i doubt you can do anything so that he would change. if you are still at home, then it's time for you to work out a plan and start saving money, etc., in order to get out on your own. good luck to you.

Haha, i gotta laugh from the pussies that reply to this topic. Right, maybe trying to suffocate you was a bit harsh, but getting the belt once in a while for being an asshole little kid was appropriate and necessery in my book at least. I remember when i used to get the belt when i did shit i knew i wasnt allowed like going outside when it was late. My dad only had to raise his voice a little and i was already crapping my pants, and most people would think "Youre father has no right to tell you what to do even more to raise his voice at you".. But i respect and love my father now, the discipline (even if it wasnt as extreme as yours) benefited me in the end. Remember this, Vikings used to treat theyre male children very roughly and harsh, but they grew up to be very tough and un-flinching men. Ive no idea why it doesnt happen anymore, i suppose the whole "acceptance of whom you are" bullshit that many people are being fed ruins it.

Your moodiness was probably caused by him, when he becomes an old flail man you should push him down the stairs.

That's not fucking discipline. Thats down right abuse!

My dad has hit me a few times when I was little and did yell at me when I did stupid things. But he always explained why he is doing this. He would always try to talk to me and tell me what was right and what was wrong.
That was discipline.

But yours is damn right abuse and fucking up your mental health!

Um hello,

Sorry for saying this but,

Hello, your his child arent u, and tht means tht this is child abuse, he is hitting and abusing u, thts just not rite to do tht, i was abused once, til one day, it was actually on Fathers Day he threatened me and my motha heard him say tht, and then he got kicked out of the house, for a wk or so, and now hes bak, i dont know if it actualy permanently, but he is actually alot better, though he does get abit agro, but thts fine, at least he doesnt hit us anymore, but he now and then emotionally and verbally abuses us, and tht is actualy child abuse aswell

Iv got neighbours who always shout and so on, i hear the motha shouting now and then, and the son shouting and so on, with his motha and sister, and i feel soo sorry for the daughta, sista, cos i care for girls and children aged 0-14 and some of the teens aswell

I think this sounds, not exactly like abuse, but definitely overstepping the mark of dicipline

It is NOT normal to "discipline" a child by means of near-suffocation. I would say that would be closer to attempted murder than it would be to discipline. Even though you were a moody child, there are rewards and consequences for positive outcomes. Even though corporal punishment IS allowed, physical & emotional abuse is NOT, not matter what era you live in. The counselor, in my opinion, should have taken action as you had reported that you were being abused, regardless of what you dad said in his defense. Just remember, we all deserve a second chance as adults, so as children we deserve more chances, since our brains aren't actually fully developed yet...

Abuse. Deadly serious. Beating someone up isn't discipline. In some peoples' warped mind, it is, but it isn't. It doesn't instruct - it only causes anger and hurt.

The counsellor's advice was useless. Ask him to stop hitting? Oh sure, that'll help.

I hope you're far away from this place now, or if not, at least that your dad isn't doing this anymore.