Is it normal to think about sex constantly and not be able to stop?

Ever since I was a little girl I have been obsessed with sex. I think about it constantly, I used to masturbate or seek out sex constantly and now that I'm older, even if the drive isn't always there I find it really interesting and find ways to talk about it or read about it or see it. I feel really outcasted because when I used to actively seek out talking about it people would blow me off all the time so I started hiding it a bit so I could have normal relationships. I ended up taking a string of lovers and doing weird sexual acts with strangers because I just wanted it a part of my life. I considered getting into porn because I wanted it a part of my life but I found the industry to be somewhat annoying because its more about just commercial sexy and there's no depth. My obsession with it is not just sexual or to get pleasure its also about human closeness and surrender and exposing yourself and naked-ness. I have never been able to turn it off and it has mentally and physically gone to the dark side (taboo, disease, physical harm/danger). I don't know how to turn it off and sometimes I want to and sometimes I just want other people to be where I am mentally or at least sympathize with how I think. Because of the stigma of sex I can't normalize what I'm feeling and even a therapist tries to find the causes of it. I make everything "dirty", I sexualize everyone (not in a predator way) and I just don't understand it. Is this normal?

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 42 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • Ass_gas

    You may have been sexually abused as a child. Counseling will help you.

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      My therapist said the same thing. We talked about a few things that I didn't realize bothered me so much. What's weird is that I was telling someone recently about an incident and this particular story makes me really tense and shakey. I don't know why. It was far from the first incident.

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      • Ass_gas

        Good news. You're on the road to recovery.

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        • TolstoyDaydream

          How so?

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          • Ass_gas

            The repression is lifting.

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  • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously

    Sex. Reproduction. Procreation. Is the ONLY reason any of us exist. The survival of our species depends on it. Is your current therapist actually helping you? Human sexual behaviours have been in practice for a lot longer than modern psychosexual professions which only exist to make money from an individual's belief there is something wrong with them. What you describe is normal. Most people just learn to suppress the urges and feelings more comfortably than you seem able to. Maybe consider a spiritual therapy like Yoni Egg training? That may help reconcile the conflict you are feeling. Good Luck!

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      I agree with you there to a point. I've never done anything horrifically obscene or grotesque or super taboo or predatory, but I've been turned on by things of that nature. I read a story yesterday that said two teens celebrated the murder of the girl's parents by having sex and that's how they were found. I got turned on watching a movie and this guy murdered a girl and had sex with her dead body. I actively look up incest porn (which I guess isn't that bad if there's a whole porn genre dedicated to it). Like I don't think I'd ever do these things in real life but is it normal to like the fantasy of it? I know in comparison I don't have a normal life, even outside the sexual side of things. I am more reckless and daring than most people that I've known, but I mean there are some limits, right? lol

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      • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously

        Geez that's deep. I may not be the best person to ask about limits. I'm all about the experience. I love most activities that feed the adrenalin rush. I like to feel alive. There are things I know some people would classify as sexually deviant / obscene that I enjoy without hesitation. We are products of our values and beliefs. I believe there is nothing wrong with activities between adults as long as it is safe and consensual. Incest porn is an act of child abuse and even watching it creates a demand and perpetuates a situation where a child may be victimised for an adults' pleasure. That is criminal. Two adults on the other hand role playing daddy / daughter and exploring that fantasy for their own adult pleasure? Totally different. Whatever happens in the mind is totally fine. It's when it wants to comes out and play in 3 dimensions that's where the problem usually begin. Adult. Safe. Consensual. For me those are my non-negotiables!

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        • TolstoyDaydream

          Well that makes me feel somewhat better. I don't look for children or anything - most of the stuff I watch is role playing and its usually step-sibling/mother/father so I guess its not even technically incest at that point. But I agree. I have those non-negotiables as well.

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          • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously

            In which case I'm betting your freaky. Certainly evolving and perhaps not as fucked up as you think.

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  • Ellenna

    It's really common for people who've been introduced to sex far too young to be out of control sexually later on. This is especially the case if the child's body responded pleasurably to the abuse.

    Keep on with the therapy, it sounds to me as if you and your counsellor are on the track to something important.

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      Maybe that's it then. I responded with pleasure to all the sexual acts I experienced when I was younger.

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      • Ellenna

        Yeah, that doesn't mean it wasn't abuse though. Keep on with the therapy

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  • Appiah

    There's no such thing as addiction, it's the devil using. He came to kill steal and destroy. Remember happiness is not the same as pleasure.

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      I feel weak for sure.

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  • MichaelMyersindarkness

    *stares out from the darkness*

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      I've tried that it doesn't really work lol

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      • MichaelMyersindarkness

        *brandishes steak knife*

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  • mysistersshadow

    Not that uncommon just try to stay safe and enjoy.

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      I think that's why I'm wondering if its normal. I'm ok with reckless sex and have had lots of unprotected sex with one time partners and have taken more than one person unprotected a day. It turned me on to think that a man might enjoy me when another man was just inside me not too long ago, for example.

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      • mysistersshadow

        That is not safe you always should use protection especially with some one you don't know. Keep doing it and you WILL end up with a STD.

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        • TolstoyDaydream

          I know its not safe but the consequences just didn't seem that important in the moment. I had two STDs and a sexually transmitted virus the summer before my senior year of high school. By the time I did anything about it I felt like death. Luckily I was still able to treat and get rid of them. I'm a little more cautious now I suppose when it comes to men anyway. I feel like I still would be a little reckless with females. I guess because I'm less experienced with them.

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          • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously

            If you are knowingly risking your sexual health and the health of your partners - that's a problem.

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  • Tempest-au

    I'm 48, and have basically thought about sex constantly for most of those years. I live to think about it, talk about it, masterbate thinking about it, and of course do it (although things have been a bit dry on that front lately).

    There isn't a lot that a man and a woman can do together I haven't done, and most of that I'd happily do again if the situation arose.

    Message me and we can talk about this further if you like ;)

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      I'm kind of the same way. I don't think there's anything wrong with my sexuality it just seemed excessive. I used to masturbate in school or in public places, give blow jobs in the library, I slept with a HS teacher, I masturbated once when my mom was vacuuming, I used to skip school to watch porn, hook up with AOL strangers and more. I don't know why I'm so into it.

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  • sandnigga

    Sounds like an addiction.

    I dont know why our therapist hasnt been able to see this lol

    Try to restrain yourself from it, or you might wanna seek help.

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    • TolstoyDaydream

      I think so. Mostly they've told me that I'm using it to cope with my stressors and anxieties and have tried finding out why certain things bug me.

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      • sandnigga

        It doesnt matter about these anxieties, if you dont want to continue to be desperately craved to sex, then try stopping it yourself.

        Get a chastity belt.

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        • TolstoyDaydream

          I don't necessarily think that would stop the urges or the thoughts though lol

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          • sandnigga

            True though, it might work for a guy but i dont know about a girl lol

            get the extreme chastity belt 2000 lol

            but it might actually help, if you're constantly fingering yourself then it would prevent you from being able to do that
            and cause of that you might eventually get less sexual thoughts, and less sexual urges

            what you really could use is a family vacation or something, something to get your mind off sex

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