Is it normal to think about being bisexual?

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19 Comments

I like to party a lot, and when I drink I have a tendency to makeout with people. A couple times I've madeout with girls, yes, I was drunk, but it got me thinking, since it's happened a couple other times before, when I was drunk, could I be sexually confused (bisexual)? I know what I like and what I don't like, I've never done anything other than making out with a girl before, nothing farther than that, but you know that saying where it's all like "the truth comes out when you're drunk" . I've never ever had a problem with people who like the same sex, and i'm just making that clear, but like, anyone have opinions?!
I know this is kind of a stupid question, but really? I need random people's opinion on this topic because i'm actually questioning if I'm considered bisexual.

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84% Normal
Based on 388 votes (327 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • A-Hor
    11 years ago | pl

    I am a human sexuality educator. One of the biggest things I stress to my students is the following:

    There are 7 billion people in this world. I am a gay man myself, but does that mean that I will NEVER be attracted to a single woman ever? Out of 7 billion people? I mean, those odds would be astronomical wouldn't they? To say that I am just UNABLE to be attracted to any of the 3.5 billion women on Earth? ... of course there are women that I'm attracted to. The same way that many straight people have attractions towards people of the same sex. The issue is, we will never in our lifetimes meet 7 billion people. We only meet a few thousand. Even if we met 1 million people in our lifetime, that's not even a mere DENT in the world population. So what proof do I have to say that I am ONLY attracted to "fill-in-the-blank". We don't have any justification. That's why the labels of sexual orientation are confusing. Because when you label something, you restrict it as well. When the truth is, no matter how we are born or raised, sexuality is a person-by-person experience.

    The label of sexual orientation is nothing more than a guideline.

    There's 5 types of attractions. (RARES) Romantic, Affectional, Relational, Emotional, and Sexual. We tend to base our guideline of sexuality depending on how often these attractions are triggered by different sexes and genders. So if I'm more often to have 4 of the 5 attractions to more women, and only 1 or 2 attractions to men, we'd probably say I was a straight male. But again, that doesn't mean that I don't have attractions towards both sexes. And the thing is, some attractions develop from other attractions. For example, if I'm sexually attracted to someone, I don't know them emotionally from first glance. But then maybe I get to know them better, and do become attracted emotional. I should also mention that when I say "attraction" people tend to think this is automatically sexual. If you have a best friend you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have a relational attraction to them. If you have a guy friend or gal pal that you talk about you love to hug, squeeze, or cuddle with, you have an affectional attraction. Again, these aren't sexual.

    We live in a society that judges us mainly on our sexual BEHAVIOR. We're quick to say, "If you're a man, and you have sex with a woman, you're obviously straight." But... what if while having sex with a woman, that man is thinking of another man? What does that make him then? ... It makes him whatever he chooses to identify as. Because sexuality is so complex, so complicated... to try and label it would be asinine.

    My point is: Identify with whatever makes you most comfortable. I have more and more friends identifying as "queer" which basically means that your sexuality is not part of the hetero-normative. Even people that pursue heterosexual relationships use it, because they understand that there's 7 billion people out there... it could be many many different people that make us feel special. And they can be of any gender, sex, expression, orientation... of any sexuality.

    I'm sorry I wrote you a novel, but I hope you read what I wrote in hopes that it helps you understand sexuality a little bit more.

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    • theaverageatheist
      11 years ago

      great comment!!

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    • bitchtits101
      11 years ago

      okay, yeah fair enough and that makes sense, this kind of helps a lot, but you see i don't have a sexual feeling towards girls or guys .. well, i'm not saying I haven't but like, for the past 5 months or so, i'm just not interested in having sexual intercourse, but the thought of having different types of relationships with both sexes seems normal, despite having sex and such. i'm not too sure if this makes sense.? Sorry if it doesn't

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      • A-Hor
        11 years ago

        There a some labels of sexual orientation that refer to what you're describing.

        A person that is "asexual" is typically someone that has no desire for sex. This is not to be confused with a choice to be celibate. There are some people that just have no feelings for sex. But since you described you've had sexual desires before, this may not be the case.

        A person that is "demisexual" is typically someone that is unable to develop sexual desires for a person until they've developed am emotional or romantic relationship. Again, some people are just wired differently than others.

        A person who is "bi-romantic" is some that has emotional and/or romantic attractions towards biological male and biological females. This doesn't have to be limited to just people that are biologically male or female. This can happen towards trans people as well, but typically those people are called "pansexual" or "pan-romantic". I should also add that you are able to have more than one orientation label. So I can be heterosexual, but bi-romantic. Does that make sense?

        I use the word "typically" a lot because like I said above, there are no REAL definitions or rules to sexuality. We just have guidelines. But it's also just possible that you've been having a dry spell. Or maybe you're taking something that can be decreasing your sex drive. A drug is ANYTHING that changes your mood, but a common thing for teenagers girls, for example, is their birth controls actually can reduce their sex drives. Taking these daily or monthly can reduce your sex drive, but there are some ways to increase your sex drive in less medical was.

        Eating aphrodisiac type foods can help increase sex drive. Chocolate (especially dark chocolate), bananas, many different kinds of nuts, oysters, watermelon, salmon, red wine, anything vanilla flavored... and many others.

        You could also just explore masturbation. You don't have to be aroused to start masturbating. You just bring yourself to that point. Studies even show that people have more intense orgasms during masturbation that during actual sex. You don't have to worry about getting STDs or pregnant. You don't have to slow or catch up to someone. You don't have use as much energy or cater to the fantasies your partner has. You are more relaxed and less anxious. Men can keep their erections longer. Women can relax their vaginas more. The only you don't get from sex is the kissing, cuddling, and warmth of another person's body. You don't get the emotional, romantic, or "love" factor. And some religious people argue that masturbation is always a sin, but sex for procreation is best. That's why sex is glamourized more than masturbation. But if you have no qualms with that (which I personally don't) you could try that as well.

        Menopause or old age can cause a lack in sex drive as well. (Assuming you're older.)

        Lastly, you could just be stressed or depressed. Research has shown that stress and depression can ruin a sex drive. But on the flip side, having a large sex drive can reduce stress and depression as well.

        Just remember that sexuality changes throughout a lifetime and is a person-by-person experience. So just because you haven't been up to much in the past five months, it doesn't necessarily mean anything's wrong with you. I'd check if you're taking any medications if that can be a cause, but other than that, it's not something you should worry about. You also sound young, so even if you do nothing, it's likely that this feeling won't last.

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  • peterrabbyt2
    11 years ago

    Try eating out another girl and see if you like it!

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  • BestBiNA
    11 years ago

    Yes.

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  • chron
    11 years ago

    It's pretty normal to atleast once in your lifetime think ''am i gay?'' or in your case ''am i bisexual?''. Everyone goes through it and most people don't become gay or bisexual.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    There isn't the stigma of straight women missing other straight women as with guys. Just because you are comfortable kissing a woman it doesn't mean you are gay or bi. It depends on how much u enjoyed it and if you think you could take it further

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  • BabyDoll123
    10 years ago

    ITs totally normal almost half the people you would think isn't bi or gay or lez is its normal :D I am

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  • devil-in-skirt
    10 years ago

    look first : if u don't feel u wanna girl when u r awake so that means nothing that u kiss girls when u r drunk
    if u feel normally things with girls even a litle ! then u r bi

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  • peterrabbyt2
    11 years ago

    You could try being spit roasted where a guy fucks you up the ass doggy style and you suck a girl off from that position. Let me know if you like it please.

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    • bitchtits101
      11 years ago

      ew what the fuck, i'm not gonna do any kinda nasty like that!

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      • peterrabbyt2
        11 years ago

        What do you want to do? Maybe I can help you. Sounds like you have some intelligence...which is a very good start.

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  • TheGhostOfSabotage
    11 years ago

    Don't be ashamed about your sexuality, straight, gay, or bisexual does not matter you should be proud of your sexuality! :)

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  • MiniMonster
    11 years ago

    It's normal, plenty of people, drunk or just experimenting do it all the time. You gotta try it before you completely dismiss the idea.

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  • TecaT.
    11 years ago

    Its normal for a person to think about their sexuality.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    You know the saying you do stupid things when you are drunk?

    I'm just thinking do you have these feelings when you are sober.

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    • bitchtits101
      11 years ago

      I've never felt like, sexually attracted as in wanting to have sex with other women sober or not, but like, when i'm sober there is a type of attraction towards specific people, girls, that i've had a history with...

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        Well good luck with that :)

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