Is it normal to thank god every day for not giving me hemorrhoids?
Hemorrhoids scare me, they are hideous, disgusting and I have visions and nightmares of them constantly. Getting a case of 'rhoids is a real fear of mine. I picture myself with giant pulsating itchy burning 'rhoids that everyone can see through my pants (it looks like I stuffed a giant bunch of grapes in my underoos) and once found out I am put on public display, laughed & gawked at, and then cast out of society to live alone in the untamed wilderness, naked, with a giant mass of 'rhoids hanging out of my ass. Some beastly sasquatch animal is attracted to my condition and rapes me repeatedly in front of a hippie drum circle who just so happened to be in the same patch of woods -none of the hippies help me because they can't decide if it's right or wrong to interrupt sasquatch's mating session (the poor fellow might get blueballs)- and I die soon after. Exposed, embarrassed, reamed and sobbing.
Every day that I wake up hemorrhoid-free I give sincere thanks to God for it. IIN?