Is it normal to tell someone on the first date that i have herpes?

I have herpes 1 and 2. I caught herpes 1 as a child and herpes 2 after from my ex who had an affair. I'm beginning to date and don't want to chase off potential mates until they get to know me. At what point during dating should I tell someone that I have herpes.

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 50 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • CountryRoads

    It's nice that you're so straightforward. I certainly would appreciate hearing this early on, but it would turn me off.
    Perhaps you should wait, have a lot of dates before any physical interaction. Build that relationship, then when you tell them, they have their emotions invested and will genuinely consider their options.
    BUT definitely tell them BEFORE kissing, touching, sex, etc. NOT in the middle of the action. Judgement is blurred in that time.

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  • leahquestions

    I can't sleep, I have to get up to work in a few hours anyway, I own my business, car and home..I face my greatest challenge, my health. He knew something was wrong with my heart and is very familiar with medicine.Yet he's never asked me how I'm feeling.I work some 16 hr days killing myself to get to a financial comfort zone... Last summer I was lifting weights , playing great tennis and running... I will do it again and be that example for the girls who work for me and look up to me..Can you tell that I'm use to pain? Been in and out of hospitals all my life...tired of it... You wouldn't know it to look at me, no one does...I am becoming bolder and more self aware and hopefully I can spread some sunshine one day instead of praying for it..We are after all masters of our destiny and now more than ever is my time to create and focus on a future without a companion. thank you for taking the time to read and write to me. It's nice to know there is hope of one who has depth and caring

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  • bleach_baby

    Definitely before you have sex.

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  • cinnalife

    You seem like a strong woman. Believe it or not, you'll het through this. I agree with the others, don't tell partners too early nor too late. Good luck on your heart surgery.

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  • alexis33

    Before anything gets serios like when you are about to kiss or have you know what!

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  • It's no big deal. I had thrush once and fucked a girl and she was none the wiser.

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  • bannedanned

    It's abnormal, but it makes you a total badass. It takes bravery and a sense of personal responsibility to do that.

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  • BoredGuy

    the fck... how old are you? 60?

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  • jc82592

    u r one weird f*ck

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  • Assuming you know from your Dr what to do to prevent transmission, and can educate a partner, I'd guess the obvious, which is the point you know your relationship is heading for intimate sexual contact. Neither too early, cause its not their business, nor later than when you have the feeling that intimacy is where you want things to go.

    Are there on-line or other discussion groups on this? Its a good question re: relationships.

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    • turboacct

      Thank you for your thoughtful response. I think that no one wants to waste time so telling sooner is better. Herpes 1 is not your typical STD since most people contact it harmlessly through kissing; most commonly as children via a fever blister. I do not know of any monitored discussion groups.

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