Is it normal to take a lover because i have a sexless marriage?

46% Normal
6 Comments

My husband is a prostate cancer survivor and he never wants to have sex. We haven't had sex for ten years.
5 months ago, I met a guy online and we hooked up once only because he lives in another country. We have continued our affair over the phone and have phone sex a few times a week.
I feel really guilty about this but I can't help myself. I love my husband so much and we get along great, but he has no interest in me as a sexual partner anymore.

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 13 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    You never mentioned anything about other aspects of your marriage being bad, just that he has E.D. brought about by prostate cancer------Which is something he cannot help!
    If he was neglecting you or being abusive, then it might be understandable that you sought comfort in the arms of another. But you are just getting your freak on behind his back.

    You should have been more devoted, or sued for divorce, in my opinion.
    And I say that because, if it were my husband, I know I'd be supportive and would never stray in a situation like that.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I really think you need to have a frank discussion with your husband. If you two get along so well, and have been together for some time, then it is imperative you learn to communicate.
    It is foolish and possibly detrimental to your marriage to go sneaking around behind his back. I'd guess that if you continue on this path, there is absolutely no chance that your husband won't find out, sooner or later.

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  • dom180
    9 years ago

    When it comes to real people with real feelings, you are not entitled to the best of both. You must choose.

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  • (s)aint
    9 years ago

    You are not being a good person about this. If sex is such an important thing to you you shouldn't even be with your husband if the lack of it drives you into the arms of another man!

    BUT, as a slight defence for you ...if I had suffered through something that made it impossible for me to have regular intercourse with my boyfriend I would obviously compensate him in other sexual ways... Have you even brought this issue up?

    Your husband can: use a strap-on, use a dildo or fingers on you or give you oral sex but not if you have never even given him a chance to try and please you!

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    You should feel guilty about this!

    Isn't there a line in the marriage vows that says, "in sickness and in health?" How would you feel if he were cheating on you because of your health? Or have you somehow convinced yourself otherwise?

    You can indeed help it.
    http://saa-recovery.org/

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  • eu1979
    9 years ago

    You should have a good talk with your husband.
    If i were him i would understand you have a right to a sex life. But you shouldn't hide and affair.

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