Is it normal to struggle with staying with or leaving your husband

67% Normal
16 Comments

My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years. I never do anything right, and I am so unhappy. But I believe in the sanctity of marriage and I am trying to hold it together. Lately I have been having feelings for another man. When I talk to this other person I feel alive again. Should I stay with the husband or leave him and move on?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 33 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    If your not happy leave. Find your way

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    • IrishPotato
      12 years ago

      Agreed.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    You need to tell your husband that his moaning is depressing you and see if he can change. You are maybe both in a rut.

    However, if you do believe in the sanctity of marriage I don't think you should consider leaving your husband, with the belief that this other man is your 'knight in shining armour' sent to rescue you. He may only be attracted to you coz you are 'safely married' so he can flirt with no pressure.

    You would need to know your marriage is truly over, then you need to spend some time on your own - to learn what you do want from a relationship, then hopefully you would mean someone.

    It's often hard to break a habit and want to be financially worse off :o(

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    • IrishPotato
      12 years ago

      There is no "sanctity of marriage". Merely unhappiness.

      People overrate marriage nowadays.
      The only question here is, are you happy?
      If you're not, it's not worth it.

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  • jesssallstr18
    11 years ago

    Move on... If you're not happy, don't stay.

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  • IrishPotato
    12 years ago

    If you're not happy, then it's not a good relationship. Find something that DOES make you happy (:

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  • karmasAbich
    12 years ago

    If your asking random people on the internet for advice about your marriage then obviously your desperate go dump his ass slut. Your.obviouslytoo immature to be married

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago

    If you really have marriage problems you need to get marriage counseling. Assuming of course you actually want your marriage to work.

    However, if you're busy putting your energy into another man then... how do you expect to fix it.

    Think of it like fixing a house. You know the wall needs maintenance, but instead of doing that you go watch a movie... and then you wonder why the fall falls down.

    You're not going to fix it by devoting your time to another man.

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    • IrishPotato
      12 years ago

      If there's need for marriage counseling, it's not worth it.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago

        Yes... the "modern" mentality is ... "if you're fighting then the marriage needs to end"

        However in reality... counseling is a means for both parties to discus their issues and have the assistance of someone who knows how to help people reach compromise.

        The hard part is... BOTH spouses WILL have to admit they're wrong in some areas. And that's not always easy... it's easier to blame the partner vs facing yourself.

        This is where counseling helps out. unless you just don't care about saving your marriage. in which case one must wonder why you got married in the first place if you didn't care...

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        • IrishPotato
          12 years ago

          And also, I haven't married yet. My opinion might change in the future ^^

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        • IrishPotato
          12 years ago

          Ho there, I didn't say fighting is a big deal.
          I ment that, if you're unhappy with the other person, and require councelling, then from my point of view, it's not worth it.

          However, some, like yourself, might disagree though (:

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          • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
            12 years ago

            My take on it is... if you give up just because your marriage needs help, your mental idea of what a marriage is may be the fantasy version.

            A real marriage is work - it's not all play time. You'll have serious issues to face.

            Counseling is there to help you learn to work through your problems and make your marriage even stronger.

            and it won't be easy ... each partner will had to admit to their own faults and where they're coming up short.

            i think that's one reason why people divorce more... people expect the fairy tale wedding and marriage. and finding out it actually takes WORK and you might have to admit to being wrong sometimes... well yeah, that's no longer fun.

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            • IrishPotato
              12 years ago

              I don't expect a fairytale marriage, that would never happen. I'm just saying that, if certain problems occur, and you can't solve them together, then you probably can solve the same exact problem with someone else if you had it with another person.

              Thus making giving it up a better choice, because in my opinion, there is someone who you can work things out with. Even though you still fight.

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  • GADGAL
    12 years ago

    You said your vows, right? Marriage is a commitment... and love is a choice. If you meant your vows... "through sickness and in health"... good times and bad...

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    • IrishPotato
      12 years ago

      That's like saying "My husband continuesly hits me and rapes me, but I said my vows so I'm staying with him."

      If there's doubt, and if there's unhappiness, it's not worth it and you should find it somewhere else.

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