Is it normal to stop speaking to your dad for this reason

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8 Comments

I haven't seen or heard from my dad for 2 years because we had a really big fight about the fact that he was on drugs (marijuana) & I wasn't comfortable about it.
He's never been violent because of it but the thought of him on it scares me & I think it's disgusting to take drugs. I don't want to be around people involved in it.
Did I make the right decision in not speaking to him anymore?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 50 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • com999
    12 years ago

    Would you not talk to him if he was on prescription narcotics? Those are drugs too. I think you're actually not talking to him for another reason. That seems like too little of a thing to be angry about.

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  • Shackleford96
    12 years ago

    No, not for that reason. There are much worse things in this world than weed.

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  • wigsplitz
    12 years ago

    I understand how you must feel. I found out at an early age that my dad was an alcoholic, a regular weed smoker and also used cocaine (I don't know how much, but I know it was a problem as I had heard my parents fight about it). Then my dad got his *first* DWI. The police brought him home, I still remember them standing there with their flashlights on him describing to my mom what had happened and that they were releasing him. Then the next day, he asked me if he could 'borrow' my bike. That was pretty low.

    Fast forward almost 30 years, and he's still an alcoholic and a new heroin addict. I still talk to him, he's an OK guy. I can separate him from his 'other side'. I can also see WHY he is how he is, and was how he was, and I have a great understanding for that.

    In between that time, life happened and I had my own experiences, and formed my own opinions on drugs (much of my old opinions were really just basically anti-drug propaganda). Plus you learn people make mistakes, people make their own decisions, and you can still love a person and not like what they do. Don't you think your dad dealt with a lot of YOUR shit, yet still loves you? Probably.

    That's what I think people who use drugs need, is understanding. Not enabling (!!), just understanding. The understanding comes in many forms, maybe it's just tolerance, and maybe it's understanding why, or accepting "it is how it is" and you can't control other's decisions.

    It's extremely harsh to just cast a person aside for a personal choice they make, especially one that hasn't affected you at all. You also have to think, there's a ton of people you deal with everyday that probably do drugs or drink and you don't even know it. It's part of life. But you can only control YOUR life. If you don't want to do drugs, then don't but don't condemn others for their choice. Make boundaries such as, don't do it or possess it around me...THAT'S reasonable. Throwing a person away for merely using drugs is not. Especially your own dad. And especially over weed.

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  • sissycakes
    11 years ago

    there is such a thing as alcoholism, but not marijuanism.

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  • sissycakes
    11 years ago

    marijuana is less harmful than alcohol.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    he gave u life a phone call wouldnt hurt you

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  • zchristian
    12 years ago

    I cant even be close to someone with a cigarette i hate those things..

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    If you don't want to be around him, you could still talk to him on the phone. You won't change his behaviour, he's too old to listen to you.

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