Is it normal to still want revenge for a cheating ex after 5 years?

After 5 years I'm still not able to get over my Ex husband cheating on me with a mutual friend! Their relationship lasted 6 months before I figured it out! We separated immediately and divorced not long after. They are still together. Every time I see them together I get so angry! I thought time healed wounds?

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80% Normal
Based on 35 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously

    Time does not heal anything. In time you can learn to live with it and move beyond it BUT you haven't moved on at all - you are living the same moment you were five years ago. So Right now. Grab a pencil and paper. (Stop reading just bloody do it!!!) Go to the nearest mirror look yourself in the eye and repeat after me "You stop this shit now! You are not wasting one more moment of my precious life living in the past, worrying about those 2 assholes. I refuse to let their actions make me miserable for one more minute and I give myself permission to take my life back right now. Today you start living and planning for tomorrow. Today you promise to focus only on what you want to feel tomorrow. Fuck them. Here I come!" Now write a list of everything you see in the mirror that you'd like to improve. Need to update, hair, makeup, wardrobe, lose weight, gain weight everything and anything you'd like to see change. (Superficial maybe but us gals need our game going!) NOW write a list of everything you ever wanted to do in life that you haven't yet done. Happy with your lists? They don't have to be perfect and you can add / change stuff later. There are victims and there are survivors in life - you are now off the road to remaining a victim. Those lists are going to become your focus - you make a plan for each and every item on that list and get it done. Set goals set time frames and soon not only are you feeling and looking better but you'll realise it's really hard to look back when you are moving forward. (Seriously message me if you need any help with actioning items on your list!) this is the start of your new amazing life I am so excited for you!!! (PS I do curse for emphasis at times - fuck those losers stay the hell away from them!)

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    • Thank you I think that is the best advice I have ever received in life!

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      • Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously

        You are so welcome. I only wish I knew you to give you a hug :) Do your lists and be ruthless about follow through. Not only will you feel better day by day. You will see the changes happening before your very eyes. Everything you deserve is waiting you just have to go get it.

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  • sillygirl77

    I don't know if this helps OP, but he will probably cheat on her too or her on him or both on each other. I believe once a cheater always a cheater. I'm sorry for what happened to you. No one deserves to be cheated on by a person they made a commitment with and trusted. It's the worst betrayal. They won't stay happy. I hope that helps.

    I do also agree with the people who said try to let go. I think your being upset is normal, but it's hurting you not them so try to let going of it even if you have to do it little by little. Best wishes!

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  • Bake34

    Gypsysalior is right. As much as it still stings it's best to try and put it behind you. At this point you're only hurting yourself.

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  • I would love to just move on but just not happening! Guess I'm just old fashion, thought we were on the same page. Married once and live together for ever. No one ever deserves to feel this pain even my kids feel it!

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  • papi

    I once asked this old dude that was about a hundred and so was his wife and who been married forever, "how did he stay married that long?"

    He said, "Son You've gots to cheat"

    It like masturbation 99% of men do it and the other 1% lie.

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  • Bigheart15

    It is normal that you feel this way. You are probably thinking he has had the better of you and seeing them together must hurt like mad. Have you heard of reverse phycology, try and turn the table and get on with your life... Show him that he did you a favour cheating on you because now you can be yourself. Hold your head up high and if you see them again don't give them that look like you are hurting or jealous. He will end up cheating on her anyway... A cheater always a cheater!

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  • thegypsysailor

    They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but this is like antarctic frigid, girl!
    Funny thing is that they probably couldn't give two shits whether you are upset or not, so all your anger is only hurting you. Time to let bygones be bygones and move on with your life.

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