Is it normal to still be suffering

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5 Comments

Please give honest thoughts, opinions and/or advice.. Long story short, i lost my dad to a awful motorbike accident when i was 4years old, so i don't really remember too much of him.. so my mum struggled with me and my brother (3years older then me) growing up.. When i got to 13, my mum unfortunately caught cancer.. And after a 1 year horrific battle/struggle, she lost her life. From what i remember of her, and get told, she was extremely caring, loving, fearless and amazing.. Same also being said about my dad... So.. now i'm 26, always in trouble,arrests/court etc, drink & smoke too much, take drugs too regularly.. And i still feel that i'm grieving.. All i think about is what a idiot i am/become.. How disappointed they would be, And why my parents, the nicest people ever, have been taken from me.. and why the hell i am still here.. They both would be hugely beneficial to this world and to a countless amount of people in it, whereas i'm not.. Practically the opposite.. And i would do anything to trade places with them in a heartbeat.. It may be all dwelling and self pity, but how can i cope/move on and stop the pain and stop feeling the way i currently do.. My brother is now very successful, married, house and doing very well etc.. I rarely see him.. And don't have any family around.. Please help..:(

I'm sorry for this essay, anyone who has read this, i would greatly appreciate your thoughts/opinions.. Many thanks. Pt

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 16 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Azaman
    7 years ago

    I wish I could help but I can only relate. I didn't lose any parent when I was as young as you, but I lost my dad to suicide 7 years ago, since then my mom has become engaged, my brother married, and the only thing I seem to accomplish is consuming far too many drugs and drinking too much too often. But I definitely know how you feel. My dad was way more successful when he was my age (28) and throughout his life. He had a decent career, did pretty awesome things, and if he were here he'd still be doing awesome things. Whereas I've been a fuck up for quite some time now.... Seek professional help? That's what I'm doing.

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    • Pt1200
      7 years ago

      Thank you for reading and commenting.. It sounds like we have similarities just by what you wrote.. I am sorry for your loss :( you know the feeling all too well.. For me the drink amd drugs ease the pain, and make my mind wander away from it. I think about proffessional help.. But am too scared to "man up" and sort it.. But maybe time will tell. Thanks :)

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  • NeilYounger
    7 years ago

    I would suggest you check out AA and or NA. In addition to getting some private, one on one therapy. AA and NA groups will give a you a chance to voice your inner pain in the privacy of a small group of people who have and still do suffer many of the painful things that you are suffering now. Venting your emotions exactly the way you have done here will be a huge relief. For most of us in recovery, the roots of our addictions can be traced to emotional trauma we experienced at a very early age. You need to deal with it, my brother. Face up to it with the concerned help of others who are also sick and suffering. The change won't come overnight. But please give sobriety, through active membership in AA and NA, a shot. The men and women you will find there will welcome you, support you, love you. It may be hard at first. But please keep coming back, my brother. The key is to take it one day at a time. Your life will surely get better. The door is open for you, my brother. Oh yes, I'll be there. Patiently waiting for you to join us. :-D

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  • _Jesus_
    7 years ago

    An idiot*

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  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    About the only generic helpful answer would be to try therapy but its hardly guaranteed to work. My actual advice is to take responsibility for yourself. Don't like who you are... change. Make a list of things to change and set reasonable milestone goals then attack you list. Also think about the things that hold you back and remove them from your life.

    At your age its time to stop blaming your problems on your past thats a passive childish way to live and until you abandon it you'll be stuck.

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