Is it normal to still be sad and depressed ?

i dont know what to say. maybe ill start with the story. So i was homeless with my father from age 15 to 17 because he used all the money he got from welfare (i dont know if its welfare in germany its calld harz4. basically you get money from the country for doing nothing)to gamble. we didnt have much to eat. so my aunt found out about me and instantly offered me to live with her(ive been hiding that i was homeless).i accepted. she sent me back to school, (since i couldnt really attend it because it just was to far away and i dint have clothes. just had other things to do like fight the urge to kill yourself) she bought me clothes she took me on vacation to america in september last year and is payed for my drivers licence and yesterday she got me a car. i get money from welfare now to pay rent and to buy food. my father is in prison now and my mother doesent care about me(my 2 brothers live with her). i have like 350€ to do whatever the fuck i want with because i basically still live with my aunt... that was the story. now the real thing. im sad ive always been. i am very polite and i thanked her for everything she did for me about a thousand times because i understand that that is real love. the problem is i dont care. i dont like her i dont like anyone except my younger brother (no not both just one) i dont like spending time with anyone. i never had sex or a girlfriend until my aunt let me live with her. since i was so sad and depressed this year and last year i thought it might change if i fuck. so i did, i have a "friend" that knows his way around women/girls and he helped me. i had sex with 6 different girls in 4 months. just made me more and more sad. after the last one i stopped masturbating. its 3 weeks now. i dont know what to do. ive been drinking a lot in the last year.(like really a lot) ive stopped smoking weed 3 months ago and started drinking more. i stopped smoking cigs 5 days ago and im starting to die inside. in febuary my aunt went on vacation again but i dindt want to go and went so far to fake an ear infection(i hurt myself inside my ear with a qtip). i need to say that my aunt is earning almost less than i get from welfare. she gets like 1000€ for working full 50 hours a week and i sit on my ass and get 850€. half an hour ago i told this to my best friend. he was really creeped out because im very funny and i can hide things pretty well. he told me to get help and tomorrow i will take the first train and visit him. i need opinions please im really done with life and the music i listen to is not helping.(xxxtentaction and lil uzi vert, sad hiphop/rap aout death depression suicide and not caring) help me