Is it normal to still be an optimist? read on...
Without a doubt I have had a painful life. Most have, I guess. I think the end result depends on the person and the impact an experience (good or bad) has on them.
Short list, my parents both abandoned me at a young age. I was left to fend for myself. Often, as a young woman alone on the streets discovers, I would make my way with letting men use my body. I don't mean prostitution, I just mean men would let me live with them as long as they could take their liberties with me. By that time, I was 14 years old, my "boyfriends" often in their 30's. I would be shacking up there, the police would come looking for me as I was a ward if the court and often AWOL.
I wound up pregnant. I did not keep the child-that is a whole other story in and of itself-and by the time I was 18, I married a man my age and "settled down"
I settled for, instead of cozily down. I settled for a childish, narcissistic man who demanded I wear his clothes...and many other humiliating things. He abused me so badly, his grip was so tight!
Over the decade with him, I had obtained a lengthy criminal record; one that includes fraud. You see, my husband would not work, and I was already working 16 hrs a day. I would come home, clean and cook while this brute harped on me...it was hell. He demanded more money and if I didn't steal from everyone I could, he would put me out. I would live in women's shelters until he took me back so to avoid that I stole a woman's credit card from her purse and we went shopping. For food. I'm serious. Not DVD players n junk. Food.
I eventually was caught, arrested and even though he's there on the surveillance videos, hand on my back pushing me to fill that cart, I was charged with five counts of theft & forgery because I SWIPED the card. The police charged him with nothing.
I got away at 30. Luckily I never had a child with my husband-he always demanded an abortion-and I am on my own, long faded beauty. I will probably never be in love again, find out about good sex.i have this god awful criminal record-a pardon is at least 7 yrs away. I can't get a job.
OR MAYBE I WILL!!!! I'm so damned positive, it confounds people. I'm optimistic, I believe in the power of attraction, I believe I can make it to that safe, secure life I've never had I WILL NEVER GIVE UP, I believe in love!!
So...is this normal, or am I deluded?