Is it normal to stay with someone for all the wrong reasons?

32% Normal
9 Comments

I'm American and my boyfriend is French and we have been together for a few years. I was a French major and have been in love with France since my first trip here when I was 10, so naturally I was delighted to fall in love with a Frenchman and everything seemed like it was perfect. Everyone says that my life is like a movie...except I am so miserable and unhappy when I'm with him these days. Things have changed.

There are red flags: he gets mad at me if I don't want sex, he still lives at home with his mom and he's almost 26, she does all his laundry and ironing and is his number one confidante, and finally, one time he raised his hand as if to hit me in an argument but restrained himself.

I know I should leave but I can't get the idea of living in Europe out of my head. This is all I ever wanted and I'm scared I will never get another chance if I let this go. Is it normal to stay with someone for selfish reasons?

Voting Results
32% Normal
Based on 34 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Valentina
    11 years ago

    find a new french guy, fool. Why would you even need a guy in order to stay there, just find a way of staying there independently.

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    • AbnormallyAwesome
      11 years ago

      That's what I thought!
      One french bad boy shouldn't ruin your dream of living on our beautiful continent.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        11 years ago

        I would, but I have bad anxiety and I don't think I could handle moving to Europe on my own, so this is kind of like my ticket. I guess the decision wouldn't be so difficult if I felt more independent.

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        • forever_anon
          11 years ago

          That's understandable. Have you sought professional help for anxiety? Also, if you are already living in Europe, maybe you could try to meet more people so you have a support network/pool of roommates if things don't work out with this man?

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  • boston12
    11 years ago

    u need to prioritise. u could stay europe and b totally miserable. or make sum new goals to independently fullfill ur dreams. either way he sounds like a domestic violence order waiting to happen. if u want it bad enuf u will find a way

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  • twinklesstar
    11 years ago

    Althought its normal to stay with someone for selfish reason, I think in your case it wouldn't be good to stay with that guy.Like with all those red flag I don't think you'll be happy in a longterm relationship with him? Go get another french guy :)

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  • noid
    11 years ago

    It's normal but not good. Decide what will make you happy.

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  • Severus'sDaughter19
    11 years ago

    Dump him. If red flags are raised, that's a good indicator that you should leave.

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  • yesnomaybeso
    11 years ago

    one time he raised his hand as if to hit me in an argument but restrained himself.

    ^This is scary. And you know you don't even like him, If you stay with him you might get to live in France but all depressed and alone. So I say stop being stupid and dump him. Going to Europe might be your dream , but he almost hit you ._.

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