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I got married young and I have been with the person for nearly 30 years. I didn't really love her then and still do not, though she has always loved me and still does. I don't know if I am kind or cruel or just plain stupid.
The concept of true love has been around for a long time but ever since centuries ago until only recently, marriage has always been for practical reasons. In the medieval days, marriage is for strengthening political and business alliances. Even 40 years ago, marriage is for the woman to get financial security and for the man to get himself descendents.
I know that may sound sad, but this is the harsh reality. Even today, there are many 30-something year-old women around the world who marry simply because they might never get another opportunity. If it's of any consolation to you, you're not the only one. Personally for me, if I don't love her, I would rather be single for the rest of my life. But that's just me.
I think you may have failed your wife and yourself, which is sad.
Love leads one to making a commitment to another person, and that commitment over time builds trust and love.
Your wife feels that way toward you. So are you maybe just out of touch with yourself & your relationship & history together? Could be you are depressed ...
Or are you expecting something else, or feel you missed something that isn't real? Or mentally filtering the good there?
I find it really hard to believe you could live with someone for 30 years and not love, care or like them. That's just emotionally retarded.
So why don't you talk to a counsellor, or pastor or anyone to check out why you find so little joy in your marriage?
I've spent the last 37 years of my life being miserable so my kids could succeed. One is an orthodontist and the other is getting a Ph. D in engineering. But what about me? My life is over.
Sherry, I did 23yrs before I had the courage to leave. I used to say it was for the kids but it was a lie to cover the fact I was scared of the unknown, scared of dying lonely.
What actually happened? I discovered I wasn't a cunt afterall (sorry else the C word). I an in fact a hansom, intelligent, interesting, funny and the best thing, women wanted me.
Sure, I lost all our mutual friends, property and wealth, but my kids are actually quite ok. Now I work o/s and travel the world. Summary, its better to be single than in a loveless marriage. PS. I will marry again because I met someone completely lovely.
Hi buddy,
you know the famous saying, It is BETTER to live with a girl who loves you than to live with a girl whom you love.
try to understand her needs and just give her a little love, u will see for urslelf she will make u shower you so much love and affection on you. just try to study urself and perhaps change a little, then you ll find life is soo wonderful with this sweet lover. Best wishes.
I'm of the opinion that any two people with comparable intelligence can find love between each other when their egos get out of the way. When someone wants out of relationship, there's almost always a feeling of superiority (rarely acknowledged) on one side or the other.
you might want to get a divorce, or start having an affair with someone you might be able love. However you are close to 50 years old. You're only going to find someone who loves your money and not you.
Not cruel or stupid imo. I married my wife and didnt love her either and still dont. Its been nearly 10 years for me. People marry for different reasons and imo love should not be one of them. Love is not all that its cracked up to be, most of all its what we imagine it could be from stories or movies, but in real life its only a fleeting moment really.
Well, that's spoken like someone who's never been in love....
True love is not a fleeting moment, and I'm not a homeless romantic. REAL love is all it's cracked up to be and more. If you don't believe than, then you've never been in love and that's sad. I hope one day you find it.
To the OP, I don't really know what to say. It's not stupid or cruel as long as you've been good to her regardless of how you feel about her.