Is it normal to sometimes feel ashamed of being a man?

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26 Comments

Sometimes I feel rather ashamed of being a man. This usually occurs when people (mostly females) talk about negatives of men in general, or I myself observe such behaviour. Some examples of such includes:

Men can't take no for an answer. Especially rapes and assaults are good examples here.

Men are "always" after sex. Being a bisexual man, I get loads of "sex only" offers online from other bisexuals or gay guys, even though I clearly specify I only want potential relationships. The worst ones just want to meet up straight away, like that's an obvious, sane option. If I say I want to know they guy first, then they might comply for a while, only to revert back to old behaviour.

Men blow their noses in the shower! Sometimes at the gym I can hear guys do that, and it makes me sooo disgusted. Also, some men seem to think it's alright to spit in the swimming pool. Green lumps of...EWW! WHY?!

So basically, I often feel men are disgusting pigs, and I feel ashamed because I'm a man myself. Is it normal to have such thoughts?

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Based on 50 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I don't think it's normal to be ashamed because not all men are the same.
    I hear women complain about how all men are bad and men complain that all women are bad.
    The reality is that people in general do stupid shit.
    They're not all the same though. The only thing I do that you mentioned is blow my nose in the shower because it's a good time to clear out my sinuses.
    Generalizing people never gets anyone anywhere.

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  • Tommythecat.
    10 years ago

    There are disgusting pigs of both sexes.

    Drool in the pool.

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    • RoseIsabella
      10 years ago

      Drool in tha pool... Mwahahaha, I don't know why but I like the sound of that! I don't wanna to be in the pool with the drool but it's still funny.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I always get a bit irritated by these things. If you are going to feel ashamed due to having what negatives some men have done to your own being as if you are the same, then you also, by that reasoning, have to assign the "positive" things men have done to your character, which to me outweighs the negatives. Some of these examples can be:
    Going to war to protect your country, saving lives, inventions that have benefited all generations since it's creation and the further generations to come, and so on.

    Men are not "always" after sex. Yes, men are more so looking for it, but that is their biology, that is how our species has expanded so much.
    Men looking for sex only is not a "bad" thing, there is nothing wrong with wanting casual sex; this isn't a religion.
    These guys you speak of are being incredibly honest with you about what they want, they are not playing you, they want what is "normal" to want and being honest about it. Trying to say you are ashamed of being male because of a biology that does not harm anyone is the thing you should be ashamed of, and that is not a gender-specific reason to be ashamed.

    I think blowing noses is the worst thing ever, it disgusts me to hear and see it more than anything I have yet to see, but that being said, such people are in the minority that do not do it in civil ways. I specifically like how much you use the term "some", you are basing your shame (unreasonably in my opinion) on the minority, which makes no sense.

    You think men are disgusting pigs because "some" do these things. This is sexism due to your ignorance, and that is the thing you should be ashamed of most of all here.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      Some people don't realize the beauty of a mans crinkly starfish.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thanks! You have some good points arguments. I shouldn't be looking at only the negatives here. Positive things should count as well.

      I think I didn't make myself clear there. I'm not saying looking for sex is bad thing. As you're saying, it's biology and a natural thing, thus nothing wrong with it. They are also being honest about their objectives which is nice as well. My problem is that even though I openly state that I'm not looking for one night stands or just sex, they still message me. I don't mind the initial message, it could be that on that particular day I just wanted sex. Who knows. However, when I repeat what's being stated in my profile, they still try again like I need some kind of convincing, or that I don't know what's best for me. At that point I expect them to stop putting pressure on me, but instead they continue until I ignore them. That's what makes me go "Why guys? Why?"

      Sure they're a minority, but being a minority doesn't mean they aren't having an effect. This about more than blowing the nose, but when I go to the gym in the afternoon/evening, I hear at least one person do this when I'm in the men's wardrobe. Sure it's just one out of 10 or something, but it' still disgusting, and I still question why even a single man would think it's a nice thing to do in a public shower.
      Anyway, it was just an example I head in my head when I wrote the initial post. Lets put it this way:
      The administration at work is only complaining about the men's room being all messed up. Being cleaned at least a few times a week, you'd think I wouldn't get too bad, but somehow it does. That's despite all men working there being grownups. It creates a bad atmosphere for every man visiting, and it sure isn't a good thing to show your customers. It is at the very least an embarrassing fact. It's only due to men's bad habits, and I've yet to hear a single complaint about the women's room.

      You have a valid point there, but at the same time, these are habits more exhibited by men. Either it's just more known when men do these sort of things, or men do these more often. Either way it's not good, and it doesn't make me feel good having to belong to the same "group" as them.

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  • Freedom_
    10 years ago

    I am a woman who blows her nose in the shower.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      That's so hot. Does your nose make a loud pisheeeet sound when you do it?

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      • Freedom_
        10 years ago

        No, but it does that when I sneeze. Blowing just makes that dull, bubbling sound and it makes the floor all slippery.

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  • Hayze
    10 years ago

    I do not think you should be ashamed on behalf of other people who behave badly just because they share a trait with you.

    For example, should I be ashamed on behalf of the many idiotic Brits who go on holiday and behave terribly? Nope, I should be happy that I am among those who conduct ourselves with dignity.

    Do not be ashamed of being a man. If you see others behaving in any manner you personally consider as wrong, just take comfort that you stick to your own rules for your own good reasons.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thanks! You have a reasonable argument here. I should take comfort in that I'm not exhibiting the same behaviour.

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  • Riddler
    10 years ago

    Most people are disgusting or assholes anyways. Dont worry I am disgusted with most of human kind.

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  • dom180
    10 years ago

    Never be ashamed to be who you are if who you are isn't hurting anyone. Even you are hurting anyone, shame isn't really the best motivator to change yourself.

    Bugsforbreakfast is right.

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  • Crusades
    10 years ago

    Another wussy who was probably raised by women.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Now see, this I could probably add to my list above... Should I interpret this as defending the bad behaviour?

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  • JohnTrollinski
    10 years ago

    YOU are what is wrong with males. You're a disgrace.

    Get a sex change. I'm ashamed to be the same gender as you.

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  • Chefeetaboopers
    10 years ago

    My coworker was saying the exact same thing today.

    A.) he hates it cause guys aren't easily forgiven for even the smallest things. He made a mistake and had his son taken away and now he wants to try to make up for it and the state won't forgive him.

    B.) He hates ALWAYS feeling sexual about girls he finds attractive. He wishes the feelings would just go away so he could live life but they don't.

    So, In my own opinion it's normal.

    I, myself, hate being a girl sometimes:

    I hate the periods, the constant argument that ALL men are horrible made by those annoying feminazis, I hate the whole having to go through child birth and then those women who make it seem like they're the only ones in the world who deal with pain- like how men who lose all their limbs in battle can't even compare to their pain.. things like that make me ashamed of being a woman sometimes.

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  • Teh4HorsMen
    10 years ago

    These posts are becoming more and more common.
    Stupid feminazis.

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    • regisphilbin
      9 years ago

      lol

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  • Barbarella
    10 years ago

    I do disgusting things in the shower as well! I might like to take a shower with you if you don't mind my habits. Do you have a nice sense of touch?

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  • robbieforgotpw
    10 years ago

    I fart and wear sneakers in the pool.
    OP u seem kinda soft

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    You got to either nut up or shut up.

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  • moomus
    10 years ago

    Women have their bad points too! And I am one before anyone says :0)

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    There are negative as well as positive traits in both genders. Ultimately, it depends on the person. You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. Self-loathing gets you no where except a dark pit. As for the dating situation, I'm sorry that you've had such a shitty time. Society has changed and nowadays it seems that most people are "fast" and no longer interested in more "wholesome" relationships. Of course not everyone is like this but, to find the right types of people you'll have to work harder. Perhaps, there's a dating service that lets you meet those types of people?

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  • Hayze
    10 years ago

    You should probably do a poll to see that most men do not exhibit the behaviours you listed as examples for why you feel ashamed to be a man.

    Most men are not bad. They are just regular people with flaws and virtues. Some do stuff that others dislike. I am sure you have habits that people around you think are bad too. I am sure I do.

    Remember the deeds of the many outweigh the deeds of the few *(... or the one)*.
    Yay Trek Ref!

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  • Cheese123
    10 years ago

    No. Not normal.

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