Is it normal to smell friends underwear?

Just yesterday I was at my friends house and I’ve kinda thought he was hot scince we were in early 7th grade. He just has this massive ass. He has like the best body shape ever. He is 5”6 and he is 150 pounds butt he isn’t fat because all the fat spreads evenly and most goes to ass. Sometimes whenever he left my house or stuff I would smell somthing of his and u know what to it. And like whenever I’m around this person I’m constantly horny. Like to an extreme level. So yesterday I was at His house and we were hanging out and I was at times touching his ass in a friendly way. And seeing his big fat ass bend down right infront of me, and literally I was so turned on. This kid isn’t my best friend but he is a close friend but mostly I like him bc of his family is nice and just because he has such a hot ass.( He kinda is like a nerd in my grade actually. And I’m not one, I’m like average and I’m a very likebale person. )So back to story, his dirty laundry was right infront of me so when we went downstairs I said I left my bag upstairs and then I went to his room and starting to smell his underwear. I nutted in 2 minutes which is super quick for me because it usually takes me 25 minutes. LiterLly right after I did it I felt regret and I ahve bad anxiety and I’ve felt kinda sucidal scince it happened. I don’t know what to do I’m just a kid. But I can’t even tell any friends cusss no one knows I’m gay. I’m just a kid so please be nice in comments and trust me in a really nice person but at times I’m horny. I just want opinions so I know what to do. Thankyou ❤️