Is it normal to self-sabotage your dating life?

72% Normal
9 Comments

Basically, I'm a person who was really socially awkward as a kid. But I improved socially and made a lot of friends (mostly guys). I can talk to girls at well, but I never learned how to have a deep relationship with a girl my age because I never did.

Whenever I go out on a first date with a girl, things would be fine. And then at one point, right after, I think "The charade is only going to last so long. You may be cool and awesome on the outside, but inside you are scared and afraid and she will find out and dump you".

So I either cut it off, or I say/do something stupid (intentionally or subconsciously) which makes it really awkward so we stop talking.

Normal?

Voting Results
72% Normal
Based on 18 votes (13 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    Seems like you're afraid of letting people in. I get the fear but I think perhaps the more people know about you the more they might like you. I'm an asshole and kind of sensitive yet somehow I have really good friends, turns out they also have social anxieties. Not everyone is socially gifted; I think as long as you're not afraid to show someone yourself you should be fine.

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  • peterrabbyt2
    10 years ago

    Sounds like you are a closet homo. Try sucking a few cocks and see if that is what floats your boat.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Anxiety and awkwardness? Sure, it's normal!

    Every time I get to know a person, dating or otherwise, I always wonder what their threshold will be before they take off. The people who do stick around know me thoroughly and still seem to genuinely like me. But, it's not like there's a lot of these people, only a good few. (:

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    • shuggy-chan
      10 years ago

      Like like like like

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        Good. :D
        I like you too, Shuggy.

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  • charli.m
    10 years ago

    I do this, too.

    I think it's partially a fear of rejection (so you get it over and done with by making it weird) but mostly a lack of self worth. Do you feel like you're not worth having someone who loves you? It's easy to feel that way, but it's far from the truth.

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    • Terence_the_viking
      10 years ago

      Woah i had no Idea you seem so cool.

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    • evilduckling
      10 years ago

      yeah you got it. i can handle rejection at surface level. i can handle "lets be friends". i can handle my calls being unanswered. what i wouldnt want is to think i'm going to be exclusive with a girl and her seeing who i really am and leaving me

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      • charli.m
        10 years ago

        But is who you are *really* such a bad thing, or is that just your skewed perception? I was so convinced that I had absolutely no worth not all that long ago...and I still easily slip into that mind set. It's not accurate, though. I strongly doubt it's an accurate perception of you, either.

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