Is it normal to self-loath over a fetish?

67% Normal
7 Comments

I am ashamed of my fetish and I have serious self-loathing issues about it. So I am only physically attracted to considerably overweight men. It doesn't appear to be for emotional reasons, but more for physical-I need to feel the squishiness of the fat (or imagine it) to get wet. Ever.

It's hard to hide something like that when all my BFs have been abnormally large. People have teased me and insulted me about it my whole post-adolescent life. I also don't feel comfortable telling my BF about this because it would insult him. Many big people seem to be wary of people are only attracted to big people. I am also too shy to ask him to do anything fetish-related like gag me with his moobs or smother my face with his belly.

I HATE THIS ABOUT MYSELF! I feel like a sicko! I cannot watch a John Candy movie without getting seriously hot under the collar even though I know HE DIED BECAUSE HE WAS SO BIG. I feel so guilty.

I've prayed about it. I've tried to change my ways. I can't. I'm usually okay, but then something happens or someone teases me and I go on a miserable insomnia self-hating episode. Is this normal to hate this about myself?

P.S. I LOVE that I am sexually attracted to my boyfriend. I love him. I HATE that I have such an exclusive, unhealthy and embarrassing fetish. There's a difference.

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 18 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • missy911
    9 years ago

    Self-loathing over a fetish is pretty common. I don't know if it is even possible but there must be support groups for the morbidly obese who might be able to provide some constructive input.

    You certainly would not be maintaining a relationship with a fat person if you weren't at heart a good person. Most people who have a fetish and feel self-loathing will distance themselves from there object of desire after satisfying the need. This does not appear to be you.

    There are lots of women who love there baby Buddha's & Teddy bears, you just want the really big bear.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I am glad you think I am a good person. My boyfriend is a very good person and I am really lucky to have him.
      I've always maintained relationships because I am a romantic and I want to settle down and have a family someday. Having a relationship with a smaller man has never been in the cards for me, because, in the past, I've tried it and physical contact makes me do strange things ranging from laughing nervously, to almost punching the man, to crying to blacking out the whole ordeal.
      You're right about self loathing people tending to distance themselves from the object of their desire. I guess that's where my conflict and inner angst dwells. I cannot distance myself yet I am still embarrassed and the conflict remains perpetual.

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  • GreyWulfen
    9 years ago

    I think you should tell your boyfriend about your fetish and just embrace it with him. Why should it insult him when his body turns you on like nothing else? Fetishes are wonderful things if you can share them with others. Don't think about how "weird" your fetish is and don't let other people drag you down. It's a thing that really just matters between you and your BF.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I would love to tell him. I really need the courage. In the past, I had a boyfriend who was suspicious that I liked his body "too much" and asked "You're not one of those WEIRD PEOPLE, are you?"
      That relationship did not last long. I would assume my BF would be more loving and understanding. I just need to muster up the courage.

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  • weedkok
    9 years ago

    There's so many worse/unusual things you could get off to than a body type. On reddit there was a girl with a fetish for alcoholics drinking and ruining. A guy on here admitted to having an execution fetish with borderline necrophilia the other day. This site also loves incest. You could be a bestialist or a pedophile. Count yourself lucky!

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  • acetylsalicylate
    9 years ago

    Yes it is, you can't help who you are attracted to, but just to confirm, are you on birth control pills? If you are, that's probably the reason for your fetish.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I am not on birth control pills. What do birth control pills do regarding this issue?

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