Is it normal to see oneself as a mere side character others lives?

77% Normal
9 Comments

I'm someone who people often go to for advice, support, amusement/entertainment. As the years go by a lot of people around me have moved on and simply forgotten about me. I helped some get back on their feet, I supported them through their lowest point, I played with them with no one else would, I listened more than the rest. All of my efforts and yet I see their lives going far better, far more filled with love and adventure. It's like I raise people to their full potential, only to inevitably be left behind. It's wonderful seeing them succeed, yet it breaks me realising my time in their life is reaching it's end, just as it has with all the others. No one sticks around once their wounds are healed.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 13 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • ArrestThisMan
    3 years ago

    They came to you because they had nothing to offer, that isn't going to change once they're 'healed'

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I suppose you're right. But after over 20+ years of giving and giving, you'd think some would've stuck around ya know? They leave and I'm left wondering why.

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      • ArrestThisMan
        3 years ago

        Forsure... Didn't mean to be a downer, that's just the most likely explanation I could think of. When I was younger and naive I did the same thing, thinking "they're just going through a rough time and need help". Spent 6 yrs with someone like that and when they finally started to grow tf up, they told ME "I can't hang out with you if you're going to be negative" simply cause I asked for a little compassion once.

        The "real ones" are just hard to find I guess... you should try to surround yourself with people who are equally compassionate, anything less isn't really worth your time, at least not until you have your own healthy support network.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    3 years ago

    It sounds like you are letting people take advantage of you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I don't disagree. At times I'll be their emotional punching bag. I take the pain so they don't have to. That said, I don't do this for anyone. I only go so far for those I've found to be able to connect with in one way or another. They don't even realise the toll their actions/words inflict. I found it's best not to tell them. When I do they just leave sooner for "my sake". Ultimately, they're all good people. It just sucks being the one on the sidelines, one that people go to when it's opportunistic to do so. I'd change my methods if they weren't proven to be effective. I saved a life once. And I watched so many flourish.

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  • RoseIsabella
    3 years ago

    It's good that you are a compassionate, and empathetic person who helps others, but what are you doing for yourself, dear heart?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      3 years ago

      I'm glad you think so. All I can do is continue to endeavour in searching to find one that won't leave once they no longer need something from me.

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      • RoseIsabella
        3 years ago

        Well, my dear, you might need to look for someone who doesn't need your help, someone who isn't in crisis. Look for someone with whom you share common interests, look for someone you're compatible with instead of someone who needs your help.

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  • someone0noone
    3 years ago

    yeah man I helped a person for about a year, was supportive of them when they talked about their toxic family and friends, even helped them with their homework despite not being from the same school. all I wanted in return was for them to at least be around a bit more instead of constantly disappearing for long stretches only to tell me a bunch of awful things happened again. then one day they just left me on read, and I messaged them asking what's wrong and why they're ignoring me, nothing. all my subsequent messages left on read. sucks

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