Is it normal to see all older men as a father figure?

76% Normal
6 Comments

My real dad was an asshole. That's an understatement! Anyway I always looked for other father figures as a kid but now that I'm in my 30's I find myself still doing this. Every older man I interact with gets "evaluated" for his dad potential. I feel like a child around them. I want them to treat me as if I were their child. I want hugs and stuff. I feel like I am too old to be feeling like this but it's not like I can help it.

*this has nothing to do with sexual/romantic relationships. I am very much attracted to men the same age or younger than I. I don't want a fatherly partner. I seriously just want a dad!!

I feel really pathetic after typing this out....

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 55 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    10 years ago

    You didn't really have a dad so you long for one i don't see any harm in it myself but i reckon your boyfriend/husband might.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    Please stay away from me. I have my own children and really don't want any others.
    I am with a much younger woman and many we meet think she has "daddy issues", which she doesn't; he was a wonderful man and a great dad who died of a heart attack in her arms.
    I'm not a fan of therapy, but in the interests of your "normal" relationships with men of your own age, I would suggest therapy for this.

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  • Caryopteris
    10 years ago

    My boyfriend's dad left when my boyfriend was little, and although he is an adult, he does value bonds he makes with father-aged men, and he treats them well, as he would have his own father if his father would have ever allowed a relationship. I think it's normal.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    There are so many women that have daddy issues these days. Some people grow up having neither parent and they don't develop the weird complex where they feel compelled to make love to "daddy."

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  • Phishy
    10 years ago

    You're 30 and you want hugs from older men?

    That caught me off guard.

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  • nanawhite
    10 years ago

    I personnally think it's not normal and healthy to consider older men around you as a fatherly figure.
    I think the problem is deeper than that. I strongly advise you to visit your dad and fix this. Your relationship has clearly affected you from childhood to adulthood and now you're a grown-up, it's time to make it right. Talk to your dad. I don't know what he's done to you or even your family, but both of you should discuss it for good in order to find a middle-ground. Maybe things will be better.

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