Is it normal to secretly desire pain?

6 Comments

I've secretly been masochistic, and I like certain kinds of pain, like bruises and aches or stinging from alcohol in a cut. I find it gives me clarity. That's beside the point: I've secretly been wanting my girlfriend to beat me, but I've been hiding this from her because I'm afraid that she'll break up with me if I ask her to.

I just want to know whether you think she'd leave when she finds out, because I really do like her and I'd prefer to keep her with me over being able to indulge the desire for pain and I don't want to worry her.

Yes it's normal, she'll probably be ok. 16
No it's not. She'll probably leave you. 9
Yes it's normal, but she'll probably leave. 1
No it's not, but she might be okay with this 15
She'd be afraid and worried by this 10
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Ellenna
    7 years ago

    You know her and we don't so you're in the best position to find out. Ask her what she thinks of people who enjoy pain and observe her response: that should give you some indication of how she'll react if you come out to her as a masochist.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      By asking that you might as well be coming out as one. Might as well...

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  • Kath£r¡n£
    7 years ago

    It's normal, insomuch as there are many people with masochistic desires, but I couldn't say for sure how she would react as I don't know her. It's definitely best to be honest and to communicate in relationships, so don't hide that part of yourself. She might be willing to incorporate a bit of pain play into your sex life, or she might not be comfortable with doing that, but if she's worth anything at all as a girlfriend then she'll be supportive and understanding regardless. Hopefully you can find some sort of compromise. Maybe you'll luck out and she'll turn out to be a secret sadist! Best of luck, anyway.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      You sure? While it's true she might find out she likes inflicting pain, it's also true that if she doesn't it'll definitely make her uncomfortable.

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  • arthurtheaardvark99
    7 years ago

    You could let her catch you watching some BDSM / humiliation fetish porn, and see how she reacts. If she is visibly uncomfortable then you should act embarrassed and let her know that you accidentally stumbled onto it and probably never raise the topic with her again. But if you see that she's not totally turned off then it's a sign that you might be able to convince her to become more interested in engaging in your masochistic fetish and humiliating you in a variety of ways.

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    • insanebotv21
      7 years ago

      BDSM porn is not that good...And it's kind of awkward to get caught watching any kind of porn in the first place, so if she didn't seem visibly uncomfortable I'd be surprised.

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