Is it normal to ruin a perfectly good relationship

I fell in love with someone and we were perfectly a good match even if we're not in a BF-GF relationship. However we haven't been steady lately. Whenever our relationship is on the rocky side of the road, I can't stop hurting myself more by ruining the relationship in any ways possible. I want to resolve it all, but I can't seem to stop myself from hurting, feeling all guilty and other negative feelings. In the end, I'll feel terribly bad about it more.

Same goes with my family. Even before I met him, I've already had family issues that can't be resolved even years has passed. To be honest, I don't want to ruin my relationship with them, but whenever I'm kept in a tight spot, I can't help but argue with my family more.

Is it normal?