Is it normal to regret drinking but not know why?

61% Normal
15 Comments

I drink alcohol around 2 to 4 times a week and I find myself in this weird cycle. Here's what happens:

Around 4 or 5 PM I'll start to get revved up and excited about having a few drinks soon. Around 9 to 10 PM I start drinking and I finish around 12 to 1 AM. Then I go get in bed, watch some TV, fall asleep. Wake up around 8 AM and I feel dirty and ashamed for having drank the night before. As the hours progress that feeling wears off and by late afternoon I'm excited about possibly drinking again.

The feeling of regret is just like the feeling when you wake up next to some nasty fat slob that you apparently had sex with lastnight.

It's not a hangover.

And I don't regret it for any apparent reason. I've gone through everything and can't figure it out. There's nothing that I DO while drinking that I regret, like drunk dial, get in fights, break stuff or anything. It hasn't interfered with my life or changed my life in any way. I can afford it and I have the free time so it's not that either. I'm not addicted to it, I quit all the time, sometimes for weeks and sometimes for months at a time (but when I am in a drinking phase I do drink 2-4 times a week). I don't have anything against drinking, I'm not religious so there's no guilty influence from that.

The reason I drink is usually to relax and at times it can help foster my creativity but there's also times when it's just to get a little drunk. I drink at home in a quiet setting.

is it normal to feel regret but not know why?

I can't figure it out. Comments?

Voting Results
61% Normal
Based on 51 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • Sog
    10 years ago

    If drinking has this much control over your life I think you might be an alcoholic.

    Sometimes I have a beer with my dinner, and it really helps me relax, but I don't think anything of it. Sometimes I drink too much at parties, but again I don't really think anything of it and there's no more urges to drink.

    It bothers me that you think of drinking as an "event" and you have it all scheduled out.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      In my post it does sound like I have a rigid schedule but that's not how it is. That's just how it is on days when I feel like drinking. I end up drinking 2-4 days a week, I never really know which days I'll feel like drinking. If I don't feel like drinking then I don't. I wait until 9 or 10 PM because I have other responsibilities, errands, or potential things to do. After 9 or 10 I know I can relax and be uninterrupted.

      I took 2 different online assessment tests for alcoholism just to see.

      One was 20 questions and I got 5/20. The criteria for a potential problem was 3/20. The other test was 26 questions, I got 4/26 with the criteria for potential problem being 2 to 8 out of 26.

      Some of the questions were rather stupid though. Have you EVER lost memory after drinking? Ever? Well yes. But that was long ago. Do you drink alone? I don't believe this factor alone necessarily points to alcoholism. I think it depends on WHY you're drinking alone. Can you drink more now than when you started drinking? Yes, but I'm also 20 years older, considerably larger physically and have different drinking habits than a typical young teen (I'm drinking slower over a longer period of time). And, "do you sometimes feel guilty about drinking". I answered yes to be fair, since I do feel regret. I'm not sure if it's the same as guilt though.

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      • Sog
        10 years ago

        You'll have to excuse me, but it REALLY sounds like you're in denial about this.

        The thing that struck me the most is how you said you get "excited about possibly drinking again" the next day. That is a massive red flag that you have a problem. That's addiction.

        For me, the thought of having a drink doesn't even enter my head until I'm in a situation where drinks are available. The average person doesn't constantly think about when is the next time they're going to have a stretch of 4 hours free so that they can get drunk.

        It sounds like the urge to drink is really controlling you; constantly nagging at you.

        It may not be full fledged alcoholism yet, but it is definitely on the path to become that.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          I think you're overdramitizing. You're also misunderstanding some of the things I said. Thanks for the input, I put forth the effort and took a couple tests and between that and knowing people who are alcoholics, I don't think this is a problem for me.

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  • 69
    10 years ago

    lol i can't relate to the nasty fat slob part but sounds like a part of you thinks/knows drinking is wrong/bad for you and then you just muffle that superego of yours by drowning it in booze. the next morning it bugs you again. the only ways i can imagine to get rid of that feeling are to stay drunk all day, not drink at all, or not judge it so harshly and figure out why you do. maybe you heard a lot of criticism to it while growing up and incorporated that value on some level despite disagreeing with it, maybe you have people still saying that to you, who knows. as long as it doesn't interfere with your responsibilities and doesn't damage your physical or mental health, there's no reason why you should regret it or feel guilty about it

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  • utopia82
    10 years ago

    In this culture, we are afraid of becoming addicted to something. If you can stop for weeks or months at a time, and its not affecting your life in any way, then fuck everyone else and their definition of alcoholism.

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  • Holzman67
    10 years ago

    I think there's conflict within you about drinking. A part of you loves it and the other part longs for a sober, healthy, disciplined lifestyle. The two seem to be working in tandem with one another. You have to choose which side you want to follow. If the regret outweighs the enjoyment, I would strongly consider going sober, or at least cutting right down.

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  • hitchman
    10 years ago

    Ur ebeyond all help my lad

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  • headwall
    10 years ago

    I think it's normal to feel 'depleted' after a night of drinking, because your brains reserves (and your wallets) are drained unnaturally fast during a night out : p

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  • BloodRedAndTrue
    10 years ago

    are you drinking alone?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Yes but I don't see how that's relevant. I'm in my 30's, done the bar and party scene and am past that. I prefer being home by myself when drinking and it's definitely more practical as well.

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      • BloodRedAndTrue
        10 years ago

        i was going to say if you have a problem with it, you should find a different group to hang with.

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      • BloodRedAndTrue
        10 years ago

        hey i have no problem with that. i like drinking alone too.

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  • Short4Words
    10 years ago

    Are you sure you aren't just pulling these feelings from your bodies uneaseiness after drinking?

    You don't have to be hungover to feel a bit off?

    And sometimes it's hard to separate thoughts and feelings.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      There has been times when I haven't felt sick but have felt a little off balance or just not "all there" mentally but as far as I can tell I'm not muddling physical symptoms with my feeling of regret. Usually the regret is instantaneous upon waking, before I'm even aware of my physical state (I think, anyway). You do make a good point though, it's certainly possible and I'll try to be more conscious of this to see if I can find a connection.

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