Is it normal to regret being emotional?

84% Normal
2 Comments

is it normal to look back on your past and wish you'd handled things differently?

i had a boyfriend, whom i loved dearly, and things went so wrong..he more or less cheated on me with another person in my office. i tried to deal, but it was really hard for obvious reasons.

we still talked weekly and were friendly. i called him the other night and told him how hurtful that whole time was. i asked for him to just please acknowledge it and he would not.

he said something terribly insensitive and i lost my sh*t. i told him i never want to speak to him again and that he'd broken my heart.

i wish that i could remain calm during difficult conversations...but i can never seem to do so. is that normal?

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84% Normal
Based on 76 votes (64 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • ReaperAJ
    14 years ago

    It sounds like you are on an emotional rollercoaster right now. Mourning the loss of a relationship is really painful and one does tend to become over emotional. Perhaps you have anger issues therefore you struggle to control your outbursts when faced with a situation beyond your control or comfort level. I can very well understand your pain right now and acknowledge that sometimes when you've been hurt this badly by a lover, it's pretty darn tough not to want to tear their balls off or hurt them more than they hurt you. I once told a long time bf that I'd slept with half the nation after we broke up. Of course it was partially true as we'd had a very fucked up relationship where he used to sleep around on me, so to make myself feel better, I did it too, then when I finally got the courage to dump him, I threw it in his face and he was really taken down. The ego was smashed. It felt so good at the time, but now, many years later, I regret my behaviour right through the entire situation. This was 13 years ago, and recently I contacted him (we are both now married) and apologised and we have made friends and peace with the past. You're not alone in feeling like you do.

    The one thing that you need to realise here and accept is that no matter how much you want him to acknowledge how badly he has hurt you, he's probably not going to, so you are chasing rainbows. Rather just forget him and move on. The more you put your heart out there looking for his sympathy, the more hurt you are going to get. Somebody that could hurt you that easily is not going to apologise in a hurry, let alone acknowledge what he did. I'm sure you can find somebody way better and in so doing, you will rise above this and he can 'eat cake'. Sometimes the best revenge is just to wipe that person completely out of the picture and move on. You'll probably run into him at some point with your new beau and he'll get the opportunity to see you happy. It might eat at him, it might not, but who cares? As long as you're happy, that's what counts.

    If you just step away from this situation and shut him off, you'll heal much faster. I know letting go is hard to do, but you have to if you want to get better.

    As for not being able to control your outbursts or your emotions, maybe you should consider a couple of sessions with a psychologist, just to learn how to control your anger, or maybe to get to the source of it.

    But anyway, I'm sure it's not as bad as all that, you're probably being way too hard on yourself. Your reactions are more than likely just a symptom of your pain and because you feel used up by this tosser. Take care of you first and stuff this shithead, he doesn't deserve you anyway.

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    that's why it's best, once you break up, is to NOT keep some sort of friendship going. get this guy out of your life and move on.

    ps, he got what what coming to him. good for you!!!!

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