Is it normal to regret a memory of when i got angry at an ex?

71% Normal
3 Comments

I was thinking of an ex from quite some time ago and I remembered something that made me feel really shitty. She always knew that the collapse of our relationship was mostly her fault, she couldn't do the long distance without hurting me. Going out partying, never contacting me yet telling me she loved me on the rare occasions I saw her, flirting with her male friends but never thinking of it as flirting, and never making any sort of compromise. I remember at one point she retold me something she had been doing in college and I snapped at her. Really quickly and briefly. Only time out of the years that we dated that I ever got mad at her. And I wasn't even that mad. I was just trying to get my point across. She never listened to me. She never compromised anything and I wanted to get past that stubborn shell and make her input something into the relationship. After that I had to leave my place briefly cause something came up. She was leaving crying when I got back about 10 minutes later.
I never get mad at people. It's one of the things I'm known for. And she looked really shocked when I did this. I feel really haunted for making her cry like that. And then having to leave straight after. I apologized straight away and explained myself and we dated for a few more months after that but I've always felt so, so horrible for it.
Is it normal to still feel bad for how I reacted to her? Its like a never dying regret to me...

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 21 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • dom180
    11 years ago

    Don't feel bad. She treated you like crap and she deserved you getting mad at her. If she can't deal with you getting mad when she quite blatantly wrongs you, it's her lookout.

    It's normal to feel awful about it, it's the sort of thing that would make me feel the same way as you, but it's NOT right to feel horrible about it if she wronged you. You're too nice, and being nice is great until it means you get hurt by something like this when you really shouldn't be. YOU are the victim, not her.

    I'm probably reacting so much to this story because the above is what I have wished many times I could convince myself to believe. It's easy to feel like a perpetrator and not a victim, but what you did was right not wrong and she would have done the same to you, I'm sure.

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  • Royo101
    11 years ago

    Sorry Matt

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  • cutegalsly
    11 years ago

    i dont think its normal coz many people argue alot and some even do much worse things to their spouses out of getting mad....anyway you should learn to get over it and that shouldnt hunt you its not such a bad thing:)goodluck

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