Is it normal to realize that you love him after you dumped him?
Is this normal? It's been three years since the last time i saw him. During our courtship, I was so confused. He's not the typical suitor I've had before, you know that girls, the one who's always showing his good side, his cutest smile, his best behavior, always calling you and telling you how beautiful and wonderful you are, in short.. He's NOT like that. During those days that he courted me, he showed more of himself, the good and the bad.. that's why it annoys me. I don't know if he just wanted to be true to me or he's being a dick. You can't blame me for being confused, he's really different! We all know that if a guy is really serious about winning the girl that he wanted, he will be at his best during the courtship, right?
Aah.. anyway, though there were times that I'm being annoyed by his bad attitude, I can't help but to think about how he showed his feelings for me (still I don't know if he's serious). Though he's not using sweet lines to sweep me off my feet, every time that we're together I always feel that I'm the only girl that he sees. Though there are girls passing by who's more prettier than me, I always have his eyes and attention. I don't know but when I'm with him, I always feel like I'm the only girl in the world even though we're with his friends. Though he didn't say much, he's always showing up and he can back up the words that he said. He's not afraid to tell me what he thinks about me but he knows the right words to say. He never compliment me as much as my other suitors do but when he does, i know that he means it. That's what amuses me.
But back then I didn't realize those things. I actually dump him four times because I don't like him before and his attitude is quiet annoying but he never quit. Whenever I dump him, he just smiled and cracked jokes just to change the topic and then he will tease me and make me mad at him. Then I would say to myself, why am I letting myself to go out with this kind of guy? Then in order for me to finally get rid of him, i changed my phone number and I stop going out with him. That's how we loose our communication. Then after one month I started missing him...Until those months turned into years. I'm always telling myself that it's impossible to feel this way and for me to forget this thing i have to divert my attention to anyone or anything. I entertained suitors (those typical guys) but I always ended up sad and frustrated. I don't know why but it just didn't work out. So I decided not to go out with anybody.
And now, he found me in a social networking site. I don't know how but I was really happy. So happy that I wanted to tell him how much I missed and loved him. I wanted to tell him that I was wrong before... But I held back. I'm not sure if he still love me. Do I have to be the one to make the first move or just move on?
I'm sorry for my story... It's too long. Advice are very much appreciated guys.
Thank you! :)